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I think it's quite obvious what they have in common: He's heading towards middle age and she's spry, flexible, and easily impressed. To her, he's a sugar daddy who thinks she's pretty (all women need to feel physically attractive and when coming from an older man, that's worth double bonus bucks). She's flattered. She feels cool and special and grown up. She feels extra special BECAUSE he is older. He feels special because this sweet young thing is unadultered and fresh and he's getting first dibs.

Right or wrong, it's understandable.

I remember when I was in junior high school and my best friend had an affair with a married man, and it elevated her in status among the peers. (We can get into all sorts of discussions about what THAT means and how raunchy the lot of us girls and guys were to be impressed by something that raunchy, but we won't go there).

The point is that this is what growing up is all about, and it's about falling down and scraping our knees and breaking our hearts.

Remember when your mother said not to touch the stove it's hot....and you wouldn't listen, you'd do it anyway,... and in fact, knowing she told you NOT to, actually made it more appealing?

Same thing. If you strike out against her, however honorable your intentions are, however protective your reasoning or logical your judgment,... it will cause her to defend him, cling to him, and drive her straight into his arms even more, and it will make you the messenger that gets the wallop upside the head and the wedge will be driven between you two, not between her and him.

I know you mean well, but it's her life. You are not her parent, you're her sister. Perhaps try treating her as a sister not a child (she's obviously looking for adult company). You can refuse to discuss this man, tell her you cannot condone it, and if asked you will not lie for her, but I do not think it is your place to tattle tale on your 18 year old sister's behavior.

Regarding her living under your parents roof, that is not applicable in this case, nor to you. If she brings him home, your parents can deal with it, it's their house, their rules. If she wants to be grown up she can move out. But it isn't your choice, your life, your say, your right, your obligation, your place, -- despite how obvious it seems to you that your little sister is quite likely going to get her heart scrambled and handed back to her.

Share your concern, but I would not tattle.

Life isn't what [i]happens to you[/i] -- it's how you [i]react to it![/i]

[i]Thoughts[/i] don't make us who we are -- [i]Actions[/i] do.

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