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what you said (in your first paragraph) really means a lot to me, seriously. i try to be articulate when i write--my mother was an english teacher, and never thought i could write very well, and still doesn't, mind you. so i guess writing well is something i strive for, so that i can show her =) as far as the other stuff you told me in that first paragraph, i know for a fact that i've never been told by a complete stranger something so sincere, and i'm having a difficult time trying to decide if anyone whom i did/do know has said anything to that degree. it may not be a "deep" compliment, but it speaks some words in my heart, and i do thank you for your comments--much appreciated.

your stories...wow, that's rough. i am glad things worked out between you and your best friend, but still, that's not a pretty situation. i, too, probably would have cried myself to sleep during those times, because nothing about that ordeal would make me feel good. i'm glad you made it through with your boyfriend, but i don't know if i could have done the same.

back to my situation... well, did she and i go through a phenomenal episode this evening. i feel immature for going into details about particular experiences within my monotonous life, but this is definetely something i could use some advice on. we'll go through this story quickly. first, i have a 23 year old sister with down-syndrome, and if you know nothing about this disorder, my sister is mentally-retarted, and has the IQ of a 6-year old. i love my sister to death, and i've had some difficult times growing up with her, but i've learned to live with her, and accept that she's going to do some really immature things that really hurt me. maybe that's why i am so caring for people such as my ex-gf? anyway, tonight my ex-girlfriend made fun of a mentally-retarted person. it was no big deal, and i was not really upset, but i didn't want that to become a common thing for her to be doing. i asked her kindly not too make fun of mentally-retarted people. i didn't ask her to apologize, or anything; i merely told her that comments such as those do tend to upset me, because as long as i've known my sister (my whole life), comments like that have been thrown at me. no lies--she told me she wasn't sorry for making fun of them, and that she would not apologize for that... i got upset at that point, mostly because i didn't even ask her to apologize, but she HAD to make a point that she wouldn't apologize. and i got more upset when she wouldn't apologize for upsetting me by saying something as stupid as "i won't apologize to you" ...truthfully, i could not care less if she felt bad for saying what she did about mentally-retarted people--it was all about respect for me, and for her understanding that i did not appreciate comments such as this. well the argument escalated even more, and ended with her telling me that she would not be sorry or understanding about this situation, and she felt i was wrong. she told me i was bothering her, and that i needed to shut up. ...i can't describe how furious and hurt i felt at this point. she immediately hung up the phone, and i have not talked to her since. i have put up with some rough things she's done before, but never have i had to deal with one so deliberate. there was no misunderstanding, she was clearly trying to upset me.

after a long talk with my roomate, i came to the conclusion that if this is how she wants to treat me, i don't need to be around her. i give far more than she does, and she takes far more than i do; she obviously does not respect me a whole lot either. that is no friendship. i'm still furious with her, and don't know what to do, so any advice in that area would be great. when i was talking to her, i did not once show any signs of anger, i did not raise my voice. i stayed calm, and direct, but allowing her to realize my confusion and frustration.

for closing i will say a few words. firstly, i am a pretty understanding person. i tend to overreact at times, and i don't get upset easily, but when i'm upset, i'm pretty upset. my roomate is in complete agreement with me that i did nothing wrong in this situation, and she was being totally rude towards me; if you see it any differently, i must have done a horrendous job at explaining the situation, because i've gone over it a hundred times in my head, and to my suprise, not one of those times did i feel i was incorrect; and i am the type of person quick to find faults with my own self. to sound self-pitiful once again, i don't know what i do to end up in relationships like this, where i give more than the other person, but it's a common thing, and this isn't the first relationship (friendships included) that this has happened to me. i still care for this girl a lot, don't get me wrong. no matter how she hurts me, i will still care for her; i won't give in to her delusion that i am in the wrong here, so if she ever feels remorse, she can repent. i have already forgiven her in my heart, but if she doesn't feel the need for me to forgive her, then how i can i forget? i've put up with abuse from her before, but never abuse so deliberate and hateful, and i won't move on in this relationship until i have been apologized to--my feelings have been severely damaged by her actions. if she wants to render the same thoughts in her head, then i guess she wants a severed relationship between the two of us; that is not at all what i want, but what i really want is for her to be happy, and if she is happy with hating me for such an assanine reason, then i guess i stand no ground to object.

i see now that my response has had no point to it at all, and all of my thoughts are just wandering around. i apologize for this. i'm fighting a few crises in my life at the moment, so i guess i've just got too much on my mind to be too incredibly articulate. thank you for listening, once again, and i, too, am very much enjoying your comments, and would definetely hope to see more of them. thanks again.



[This message has been edited by wowzers (edited 04-18-2003).]





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