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Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

I do worry about him...and I worry about the state of the relationship if this issue keeps coming up. I also worry that he thinks of this constantly. I've found myself trying to gauge his moods/thinking... wondering if he has had thoughts of me doing anything. I can usually tell when he has these ideas in his head.

I don't know why these issues are coming up with such force at this point in time. I went overseas for a few months to work...we kept the relationship long distance and never once heard about him wondering what I was doing, who I was with, etc, etc. He supported me FULLY and was wonderful to me. He is still an absolutely caring and supportive boyfriend. I just think that his insecurities get the best of him. I am also starting to think that he may need to be on his meds more consistently...or maybe needs to see his doctor a bit more, or counselling together. Yes, maybe.

Last night while we were talking about this issue, he was somewhat floored that i didn't have the same worries that he did. I explained to him that, while i have in the past had a serious ex-bf cheat on me, that I couldn't let it taint my view of other people. I told him that I may meet different people in the future, but that it wouldn't change my view of him, and THAT was normal. He agreed. I told him that I knew that he had female friends and wasn't perturbed by this idea, and I mentioned that I, too, had male friends..and then said "Does it bother you that i see them?" (I wanted to get an idea of where he was at), and he said "No". He is fine with that, and I have never had a problem going out with male friends for coffee or whatnot. It is almost as though he is more worried about his fantastical ideas rather than a more realistic scenario taking place.

We both agree that it is important to keep relationships going outside of the relationship, in order to keep ourselves "whole". Although we spend a great deal of time together, we also make time for friends, both on our own, and together.

I will mention these things to my bf when I see him in a couple of days.

Until then...

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