It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


My point is two fold - Better get your act together - as in stop being an insecure mess and figure out that just because you weren't picked first by a man, doesn't mean squat. SOME PEOPLE can have a bit of resentment and jealousy over their mates past. I myself had sometimes wished while dating my husband that he hadn't been with other girls before me, or that I had known him when he was younger. It's a normal thing that SOME PEOPLE MIGHT experience but one can realize that it's a very immature attitude to have. Get over it.

And be on your guard - as in, why would you even consider loving and being with a man like this when he obviously cannot make up his mind about important things like who he should be with?? Sounds to me like he's got some issues that need to be worked on with a therapist and you need to find someone else who can devote everything to you and only you. If you really cannot get over this guy and want to be with him - then change your tune and quit being resentful. Otherwise the relationship is doomed to fail.

If your upset about not being the first choice and CAN'T possibly get over it, then you need to realize this is your intuition talking to you - chill out and distance yourself from this guy and know that there's other things about him that are bothering you at a deeper level. Those are your two choices - stay with him and stop being childish with resentment and anger, or distance yourself and find someone else. Excuse me, third option - you can keep riding the emotional rollercoaster if you want...it's your life. Personally, I just think your caught up in a little real life soap opera that's giving you a lot of his attention. Again, immature for a relationship. If you distanced yourself and saw what others see, you'd talk some sense into yourself.

I just don't understand why SOME PEOPLE think drama in a relationship is necessary. (I'm not just relating this to your situation but others I've seen on this board) Drama isn't love, it isn't passion, it isn't "soul mate" - it's F'd up.



[This message has been edited by Pandabaire2 (edited 04-27-2003).]
I just don't understand why SOME PEOPLE think drama in a relationship is necessary. (I'm not just relating this to your situation but others I've seen on this board) Drama isn't love, it isn't passion, it isn't "soul mate" - it's F'd up.

SOME PEOPLE can have a bit of resentment and jealousy over their mates past. I myself had sometimes wished while dating my husband that he hadn't been with other girls before me, or that I had known him when he was younger. It's a normal thing that SOME PEOPLE MIGHT experience but one can realize that it's a very immature attitude to have. Get over it.

Don't take this the wrong way, but I think you are the one being immature here becuase you are making unfound assumptions and jumping to conclusions. In the first paragraph you assume that she wants drama, WHY? Did she state that? Nowhere in her post did she even elude to that- just because someone is going thru a crisis with their significant other or any other person for that matter does not automatically equate them to wanting "drama" in their life.
Second reason why I feel you are being a bit immature is that you are making points that have no relevance to the situation. As I stated before you are putting in information that has no relevance to the situation that was posted. You can say, and you did, that she should not brood and be upset over what her S.O did to her in the past, it will do her no good... that is all fine and relevant, but then you go into this whole shpeal about how it pisses you off that women get so jeoulous, envious, insecure about their sig. other's past i.e, women they were with in the past, when they shouldn't becuase the S.O's are with them now- like I said before that only holds true when the women were not a part of their Sig. other's past!!! It is not valid here becuase she WAS a part of his past. It is, by itself is a very warranted statement to make, but in reference to the problem, it has no bearing. Then you end that same paragraph by saying "get over it". What? You can't just spill a bunch of shpeal that is not even remotely relavent to the problem at hand and then give them a command based on it- It is immature and not thought out and inconsiderate.

[This message has been edited by nadine (edited 04-27-2003).]

[This message has been edited by nadine (edited 04-27-2003).]

[This message has been edited by nadine (edited 04-27-2003).]





All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:04 AM.





2019 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!