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Relationship Health Message Board


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I am not really sure if my thoughts are going to be the same as Purples and Sweetescapes are...but...

In response to the suggestion that I actually like the insecurity that I see from the men in my life...wrong. That insecurity alot of the time has led the men in my life to assume that I would cheat on them. Which in turn led them to actually making the accusation. Which in turn led them to start spying on me. Which in turn led them to go rifling through my purse searching for any evidence that I was cheating. Which also in turn led them to become domineering.

As for the reassurances...you cannot give them enough! I am five years into the relationship with my current boyfriend and to be honest...I am sick to death of having to try to convince him that I have no interest in anyone but him! How many times and ways do I have to say it before he finally lets go of the insecurity and just starts enjoying the fact that he has my love and devotion which no other man could ever take away?

Perhaps the men in my life fall into the "obsessed/severely possessive" category. I can't really tell you as they have all been this way. Just to illustrate the degree it has hit with my current boyfriend I will give you an example.

I worked in a hotel before getting sick. I was working toward a promotion to management and was having to put in 70+ hours per week. My boyfriend was working the night shift and going in at 5 p.m. and not getting off of work until 5 a.m. I was waking at 5 a.m. and entering the office at 6:30 a.m. My day usually did not end until 8 p.m. or later. My boyfriend was working no more than 4 days a week...I was working 6-7 days a week. One of the employees where I worked was a young male...approximately 26 and decent looking. My boyfriend was sure that I was having a fling with this man. It did not matter to my boyfriend that the man in question was 100% homosexual! My boyfriend was absolutely sure that I was trying to "convert" this man! It took me several months to convince him otherwise and he still...to this day doesn't believe me completely. Extreme?...Yes. Unusual for me? No.

I love my boyfriend completely. However, the irrational behavior illustrated above gets very old...very fast. It would be nice if we could have hit some point where the doubts and suspicions died and we could just be secure in what we have without the need for constant reassurances.

sprout





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