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Relationship Health Message Board


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Ok, I need some objective advice, please. I've been dating my boyfriend for about 7 months. He's been divorced for 3 years and has a 4-year old son. I have never been married and have no children. At the beginning of our relationship he has been the sweetest guy ever, very attentive, called daily, told me I was the most beautiful and wonderful girl he's ever dated, brought me flowers, etc. He made me fall for him completely. As soon as he realized this could turn into a serious relationship, he began acting strange. He said he wasn't sure if he ever wants to get married again or have more children, etc. I broke up with him for a couple of months but came back because I missed him like crazy. I thought maybe we should take it slow, with no pressure, and see what happens. We've been back for about two months.

So now the problem is that his ambivalent behavior is not only still there, it's worse than before. Whenever we see each other, it's great. We get along well, are attracted to each other physically, and like each other's personality. BUT, he hardly ever calls me, we see each other less than once a week (he says it's due to his busy work schedule; he started a new job a couple of months ago), and I have yet to meet his son. He sees his son every weekend so we don't ever see each other on weekends. Recently when he came over to my place, I had no food in the house (I work late) and we had to get something from outside. He made a joke that I am not a housewife, so I took this opportunity and suggested that perhaps one weekend, when I have more time, I would cook some dish from my country for him and his son. All he said is that his son didn't like this type of food. After that I haven't heard from him for a few days, even though I had a cold and really wished he would call me. Then he started e-mailing me again and calling, but he sounds so casual, it hurts me. A long weekend is coming up and he still has not suggested getting together.

What do you all think I should do? Should I play it cool and continue this in hope that he will eventually fall in love with me? Should I talk to him and demand to see him regularly and to meet his son? Should I just give up on him altoghether? How long does it normally take for a divorced man to be open to love again? I am trying to be patient and understanding, but I am already 30 and after a few failed relationships, I would really like to be in one that lasts. I am almost losing hope I will ever meet a great guy to share my life with. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!





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