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Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


I'm so sorry to hear you're going through such a rough time. I don't believe you "deserve" to go through this. I wish I knew why some people seem to be destined for loneliness. I'm pretty much in the same boat as you are. I haven't been diagnosed with anything, except depression, but when my boyfriend left me 5 years ago, my world just sort of caved in on me. His roommate messed over my best friend and his other roommate messed over her little sister pretty good. I told her little sister over and over that this guy was a player, and she wanted to date him but wanted me to spy on him. I thought that would cause friction between my boyriend and myself, so I just told her what I knew of him thus far, and she should date him at her own risk. She told me to stop trying to be her mother and dated him. He was dating another girl at the same time, and she knew, but seemed to not be too bothered by it. He broke up with this other girl, then got back together with her, and my friend ripped me a new one for not telling her little sister. it just never occurred to me to say anything. I don't know. When my boyfriend left me I was so devastated, but her attitude was like "well, I got screwed over, my sister got screwed over, it was just your turn, get over it." We drifted apart soon after that then stopped communicating altogether. I realize now all the mistakes I made with my boyfriend and all the things I would do differently if I could, but he got married last fall. I've really tried my best to move on with things, but nothing I've tried has worked. I haven't met anyone else that would even come close to being interesting let alone someone who could make me forget my ex. That was five years ago, and I've also been pretty much alone and friendless since then. I think all you can do is just "keep your side of the street clean" as John Cusack says. Be involved in your life, involved in your work. Don't dwell on the bad things about your life. Try to accent the good things. Smile, try to enjoy something about each day. Count even the tiniest, smallest blessing in your life and nurture it. I believe counted blessings have a tendency to multiply. I had a dog I loved very much, but after my boyfriend left me I was so depressed I didn't feel much like going for walks or things like that. I neglected her. I started to come out of it and decided to pay more attention to her grooming, care, and just love her and enjoy her more. I started to do just that, then I learned she had cancer. She died 5 weeks later. I still live with the pain of having not treasured every single second I had with her the last couple of years of her life, walking her, playing with her, grooming her, etc. I think if one is alone, it must mean that you have work to do on yourself. Get to know yourself, get to like yourself, and when you least expect it, someone will come along, and you'll be ready to make the most of it. I pray that's true, for both of us. Keep your chin up, try to keep the faith, and best of luck to you.





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