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I need some help, I have some relationship issues that i can not figure out.
I am seeing this guy who has decided that he isn't sure whether he wants me or his ex-girlfriend.
I got together with him while he was engaged to this other girl ( his ex) he decided that he wanted me more, and so broke things off with her. I always told him that i was not ready for a relationship and not keen on committment, but he still said he was happy to "get what he could from me".
So we saw each other for while, but I was kind of hot and cold towards him, there were times when I liked him, and other times when I wanted to be left alone, and I told him that. I guessI was very up and down, and very cold and distant at times. But that is me.
I told him that I didn't really care about him that much, and wanted to keep it casual.
But then he decided he was confused.. and maybe wanted his ex. Because she was willing to give him so much more than I could.
Now this freaked me out, so I told him i loved him and made him decide betweeen me and her.
he decided me.
He told me he was sad about breaking up with her, and confused but all he wanted was me.... and that made me happy....
BUT NOW I AM NOT SURE I WANT HIM?? When I am with him I just want to be alone, but then I leave him and I change my mind and want to be with him.
I don't like being "mushy"... or romantic, or corny, no imtimacy for me. BUT WHAT DO I WANT???????
How do I decide?
How come when he doesn't want me i want him so so so so so very badly, that I actually convince myself that i am in love with him, but when he wants me, and wants things to be rosy and lovey-dovey, and cutsey coupley... I do not want him?
Here is my other problem... he is younger than me, and he has slept with many fewer people than me ( I am 29 he is 27) and this makes me feel a bit uncomfortable, like he isn't a real man or experienced enough.
Also when he is with me he expresses such intense love and devotion, I want him to a bit more masculine, not to adore me so much and to want to emulate me so much. he gazes at me with this look, like I am some kind of goddess and I just wish he would not worship me so much. I want him to be better than me, to be tougher than me, to be masculine, for me to be in awe of him, not the other way around..... he told me I intimitated him and for some reason this made him seem so very very UN-SEXY to me....
help, I am so confused about what i feel....and what i shoudl do... maybe I should just cut the poor lad off, and let him go back to his sweet loveydovey relationship... I am 29 years old, and am told i am attractive, i have enough money, a good job, so why can't I be happy?

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