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I found out the other day that my boyfriend cheated on me with his ex-girlfriend 3 months ago, got her pregnant, and she had an abortion the other day.

He cried and begged with me not to leave him, and said that he wouldn't accept any answers from me until i'd at least slept on it. We have had several talks since then (all of which i've cried during), and nothing has seemed to be resolved.

I did not want to leave him. I still dont want to leave him, although i really hate what he did to me, and i hate that he had such a lack of respect for me, my feelings, and my health (as he had unprotected sex with her). I questioned him about the health thing, and he said that he knew she had not been with anyone else. I told him that it does not make it ok for him to do what he did, regardless of whether he knew that or not (after all, she could have been lying to him).

The other night, he brought his daughter around to my house. we went to his sisters place, then dropped his daughter off at his ex's place (he did not want to take me there, because he knew that she would get angry. i made him take me because i dont trust him alone with her anymore). When he pulled up, she ran outside and just stopped in the driveway when she saw me in the car. he went up to her, she grabbed the baby seat, threw it on the ground, grabbed her daughter, and snatched the dummy out of his mouth and started yelling obscenities at him. She told him he would never see her or his girls again, and so far she is sticking to it.

He was upset with me for not trusting him. he didn't want to take me there because he knew that something like this would happen. The problem is, i am sick of being treated as though i dont exist! She had never even seen me before that night, and was quite happy to pretend i didn't exist. I'm not a mean person, but after what happened between him and her, i hope she was hurt to see me. I hate it that she didn't care that he told me about them sleeping together. i realise that it takes two to tango, and believe me i have tried to be cold and unforgiving, but i just can't do it. but i dont want to give him my heart again just in case he abuses it like he did before.

He seems to think that this event is a worthy cause for me to just trust him again, simple as that. he knows that i was hurt by what happened, but he doesn't understand it.
He is also suicidal, and was about ready to kill himself after what happened with his girls. i dont know what to do there either.

I am at such a loss for what to do, my mind is so confused and i dont trust what anybody says to me anymore, and i am losing faith in people. I did not hate his ex before (i used to feel sorry for her), but now i feel a hate for her that just burns inside of me. i dont like feeling like this but i can't control it.

Can anyone help me, please?
Hey leocy,

I'm going to make this short and sweet because I've already made most of my feelings about your boyfriend's infidelity clear in response to your "could you trust him?" post..

If you wondered if you could trust him then, why on earth would you stay with him knowing that he got his ex-girlfriend pregnant while he was in a relationship with you? Your suspicions have been validated.. He is a cheater..

As for why you can't leave him, I honestly don't have an answer for that.. Do you like having to constantly be suspicious? Do you like being cheated on? Do you like being in a relationship with a human being that you can't trust? Do you like having your health put at risk by that human being? Do you like having your feelings hurt constantly? Or, more realistically, do you simply fear being alone?

Those are all questions that you're going to have to answer.. This isn't the first time he's hurt you emotionally and I doubt that it will be the last.. If you still want to remain friends with him during his current personal crisis, that's one thing.. But staying in a bad relationship that causes you nothing but grief is another story entirely.. Pity can hardly be equated with love..

Take Care,

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