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Relationship Health Message Board


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Re: Affairs
Jul 17, 2003
You should be ashamed of yourself for having an affair with a married man. The man has children and his children do not deserve to have their father breaking the covenant of marriage with the likes of you, or any woman for that matter. I am thouroughly disgusted by people like you.
Re: Affairs
Jul 17, 2003
Hey toolbox. I am not going to judge you or criticize you. I think the fact that you were involved with these awful men in the past has lowered your self-esteem and now you're willing to settle for MUCH less than you really deserve. And what do you mean by "I am not young, I'm 30"?? For God's sake, so am I, and I definitely do not consider myself old. Do you think that because you're 30 you don't have better options but a married man who's only stringing you along and wasting your precious time? It's funny how everybody is quick to judge you, but nobody notices that this married guy is actually the one who is breaking his vows and risking destroying his family. He is greedy and selfish and wants to have everything without any sacrifices at all: a wife and family to come home to, and you to have an exciting affair with when it's convenient for him. Don't be a fool--what are YOU getting out of it? If you stay with this married man, you can count on always spending holidays and vacations alone and him never being there for you when you need him. And you know what, if the affair ever becomes public, you will be the one everybody blames, not this cheating creep (as if you forced him to sleep with you). Think about your best interest first, end this hopeless relationship and find yourself a guy who can be all yours. You deserve it!
Re: Affairs
Jul 17, 2003
[quote]Originally posted by SophiaM:
[b]Do you think that because you're 30 you don't have better options but a married man who's only stringing you along and wasting your precious time? It's funny how everybody is quick to judge you, but nobody notices that this married guy is actually the one who is breaking his vows and risking destroying his family. He is greedy and selfish and wants to have everything without any sacrifices at all: a wife and family to come home to, and you to have an exciting affair with when it's convenient for him. Don't be a fool--what are YOU getting out of it? If you stay with this married man, you can count on always spending holidays and vacations alone and him never being there for you when you need him. Think about your best interest first, end this hopeless relationship and find yourself a guy who can be all yours. You deserve it![/b][/quote]

Thanks so much for everyone's comments - and SophiaM - I've had almost this exact conversation with him. We've had heated discussions about where this is all going, and each time he tells me he knows it's really hard on me but to please be patient with him and his situation... I've suggested that I start dating other people until he makes up his mind. He gets livid... So yes, he definately could be looked at as selfish and greedy in that aspect. He is a very nice person to me, and has done some wonderful things for me which makes it hard to just walk away when I know from my experience with the other guys I've dated what else is out there. And yes, those situations definately didn't do anything for my self-esteem. I don't know, the further into this we get, the more comfortable I get with the situation - but I know I'm missing out on the whole package and I know how to rectify the situation, it's just hard. :(

Regarding the comments about the kids from other posters, he is a wonderful father to his kids and he does not give up his time with them to be with me. He and his wife were having marital issues long before I came into the picture. They had been through counseling, and that had not helped... then she decided she wanted kids and he thought that might help their marriage - it did not help and only created more issues. He and I actually were fairly good friends before we started a romantic relationship and I had known about the issues beforehand.

Thanks again for your comments.







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