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I came across this message board while surfing the net for similar situations...

I have a girl who is my best friend, and have been for the past 5 or 6 years. We have a long history (ill keep it short) and now it seem like she hates me. She has kids, which i love to death, and a boyfriend. We used to work together and literally spent every moment together, we always hung out after and before work, we went everywhere together and do everything together but lately its like she forgot all that. we used to talk everyday even non stop texting to the point that our phones would crash. She told me personal things and I did the same. I have been there for important moments in her life from her kids baptizim to birthday parties etc. you would think we were married, i mean i used to take and pick up the kids at school, we were inseperable, i even have her on my phone plan and my insurance, she is even a beneificiary on my life insurance if something were to happen to me (which she donít know)...but in the begining of september I did a be stupid mistake which had nothing to do with her but another friend of ours. I'm closer to that friend then she was (which I know she didnt like, even was jealous and mad at times if i talked to her or even had lunch with her) so one night I go have dinner with the other friend, which she knew about, and since we all worked together I still had personal things in the old office which I collected after dinner but it seemed that some one complained that i was stealing items. so the next day she was suspended and I was asked to bring back the things in box which i did and it was just what i said it was. nothing taken just my own junk. So when i told my best friend what happend she was pissed and just stopped talking to me. it now been about six weeks and I have seen her and if we do talk it usually just a word or two.

the thing is that the friend that got in trouble over my mistake was never mad at me and we hang out even more now, were just friends, she even said sheís glad about what happened cause she was not happy there anymore. but i dont understand whey my best friend is still so mad. I dont even know how to describe her but she means to world to me. I have never cared about anyone the way I care about her. 6 years is a long time and somewhere in the middle of this I fell in love with her. I would never tell her though. its not my place and I dont want to ruin me and her by telling her. but it seems like its to late for that. now we only seem to talk if theres a bill that needs to be paid or something but were not how we used to be. It was so bad that I sent her an email telling her what she ment to me (but i didnít tell her I'm in love with her) and that I miss her and the kids, that my life is just miserable without her. She replied but she said she was mad because it made her think of the person who I really am, and that it made her think Iím selfish and heartless. It really bothered me when she said that. Now we just started talking again and were going to have breakfast before work but she cancelled and dinner the other night which she texted and said she cant go. Since then Iíve been trying to talk but so dosnít respond. It really feels like Iíve lost her. Even my friends are surprised that we donít talk anymore. They all thought that we would be married by now. I have been thinking lately about a letter that I wrote to her but havent sent, hoping that I never have to send it but it seems like I may have to in the near future saying my final goodbye. I told her that I would always fight for us but it seems like she dosnt want to fight for usÖ

Is what I did so bad that the last 6 years was thrown out like garbage. I know she cares about me but it seems like were never going to be the sameÖI would really like to know what you think about my situation or thought, adivse, etc..


Thanks-





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