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[quote]Originally posted by Audrey-B:
[b]So you have to wait 2 whole years in the UK before a divorce is granted? Here in Australia we only have to wait one year[/b][/quote]

If you divorce on grounds of agreed separation then yes it's 2 years. When I moved out I already knew and had made it clear that I could not see us getting together again (although of course you never know what happens a few years down the line) and that I wanted both of us to move on because we were in a very unhealthy situation, but we still needed a bit of time before deciding whether to go for a divorce straight away.

I think he needs the divorce to be able to move on so that's fine by me, I am not in a hurry to remarry and would have preferred a separation as the financial aspect had been clear (in my head, not in paper) well before we even got married, as he always made sure I and everyone else knew the house was his and his alone.
(Although after I'd left he initially started going on how he had bought the house "for me" and to "start a family" but his actions and attitude - including long and angry rants on how I had no rights and would never get any of "his money" [money he never had but never mind], and that was BEFORE we got married, SILLY ME how could I have been so stupid? [img]http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/confused.gif[/img] - could not have been much more different from his alledged intentions!)

At first he also had the idea I ought to stay celibate for 2 years - he even had the guts to go on about how marriage was "sacrisanct" to him and how I was a s**t for going out wiht someone while we were separated, and wanted to divorce on grounds of adultery (erm... I had moved out way before even considering a serious relationship again!), but that's part of why I left in the first place. He has some very screwed ideas and the way he sees himself (loving, faithful and devoted husband) is very different from the way he acted (shouting at me, calling me abusive names, paranoia and false accusations, or just ignoring me for days on end while still expecting me to feed him and clean for him - we both had full-time jobs! - or else shout and degrade me if I was too tired to cook one night) but we're on speaking terms now and have found a way to live around each other without either of us having to leave the town we live in.

Unfortunately the damage is done with his family and our former shared friends now only knowing his story, of how I left him and shacked up with someone else (he also believed for a while I was having an affair before I left, which is impossible since we were always either both at home or out together as I hardly left the house without him) just to screw him over and to destroy him. None of them has any idea of what actually went on behind closed doors :(

Anyway sorry the big rant and for hijacking the thread! :)

[This message has been edited by Sundance_Dawn (edited 07-24-2003).]





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