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Relationship Health Message Board

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Hey Archon,
I think you need to ask yourself what is it YOUR doing that is getting these married women to throw themselves at you...I mean, married or single - women will NOT flirt unless there has been some interest in her established and shown by a man. Perhaps you need to re-think your conversations with women and be honest with the way you talked to them, or looked at them, or if there was any physical contact that was of a personal nature. Again, as I've stated before (and as someone else pointed out) SINGLE women aren't so forward most of the time (unless they truly are of the Samantha - Sex in the City variety and just manhungry) because they want to have a good first impression on a potential BOYFRIEND.

Secondly, I think loads of people who are single expect marriage to be a certain way - and you'll find out it's not what you expect when you get into it. In a perfect world all the couples would stay in crazy love for their lifetime together, never once even thinking about a member of the opposite sex (who isn't their spouse) in a sexual way. Sorry, but you'll not understand what it's like to be married until you are - don't go blasting people for doing things when you have no idea what their lives are like. I agree that it's natural instinct to be flirtative to the opposite sex when there is attraction. I'd like to see you in 15 years after having the wife, the house, the kids, the job - you'd probably be feeling a bit down on yourself with the extra weight you've packed on since the old single days and the fact that you and your wife barely have sex on a regular basis (life tends to get in the way of having fun). You'd be more than delighted if a pretty young thing gave you a smile in the local grocery store - married or not.

Third, what about porn? I'm sure I'll get blasted here, but many men (married as well as single) would claim that it's something they do and it's not harmful to anyone. Loads of women would disagree with that, but I'm not one of those....I think it's OK that my hubby looks at it on occasion and as long as he's hungry, and eats his meal at home after he's viewed "her menu", I'm fine with it. Married women flirting is along the same lines as married men who view porn...some would say both actions are disrespectfull, others would say their both harmless. Obviously both can turn into major problems and relationship busters, but on average just minor flirting can help in a sexual relationship. I think the poster that suggested "view it from the other side, if your husband was flirting" is off base - you've stated actions that someone who was in the more HARMFUL catagory of flirtation would make. I think we need to discuss married women who out and out propose sex to single men then.

To single men out there that are sick of only meeting married women, how about the suggestion that if you don't like what's playing on tv that night - turn the channel. In other words, before wasting 30 minutes eyeing up a woman and chatting her up thinking that she may be dating material, only to get ticked off when you find out she's married - be upfront about it - you have every right to be. If you see a ring on her finger, turn around and leave the area. If there is no ring, then ask her within the first few minutes of conversation, after "hello", if she's taken. If she is, then there ya go - you leave and you've kept both her and your dignity in tact.

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