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Me and b/f have been together for almost 3 years now. He's 20 and I'm 18. Our relationship is fine except when it comes to sex. He never wants to!! I'm always trying to come onto him and I strip in front of him and he barely even notices anymore. I'm just scared that he's getting tired of being with me and he's no longer interested, even though when we talk about it he denies it (of course he will, what guy wouldn't?). I'm not the least bit tired of him and I like to have sex at least once a day (of course I never get that lucky). It's usually 2-3 times a week. And everytime I try to come onto him he gets all pissy with me and pushes me away and tells me he's not in the mood. I get sick of it and it hurts me. Then he gets mad at me for being mad at him because he never wants to have sex!! Another thing is he doesn't want me to masterbate, and he doesn't either so I agreed not too (that was back when we did have sex almost everyday). I'm a very honest and trustworthy type of person and when I say I'm not going to do something I don't. I'm just tired of not being satisfied!! Of course when he IS actually horny he expects me to just jump his bones, and when I get the chance I do, but when it comes to me, tough ****!! That's what pisses me off. It makes me feel like he doesn't care about me, just himself. It hurts :(. What do I do about this?? I need your opinions!! Please help!
I agree that every other day is a lot. My ex was one of those and it drove me crazy because it never gave me time to build up any desire. Some people just have lower sex drives. I think I have a fairly high sex drive, but I don't want to be expected to have sex constantly. It makes it mechanical and required, and that certainly is no turn on. Finding time to make it special and not expected is far more sexy to me. I used to feel used, but guilty too, because I had my potential for lust drained out of me before it had a chance to build, so I can understand where he's coming from. It's nothing to do with not desiring you, it's just overkill of something that should be spontaneous and desirious of both people, not just one. He doesn't want to look at you trying to tempt him because he isn't ready to follow through.

I do think not letting you masterbate is selfish of him though, as is demanding it when HE'S ready. I wouldn't have cared had my ex wanted to do that, as long as he let me alone, but he didn't go that route either. I think people should make sure they have compatible sex drives before they get married, because this is one very important issue, and it can cause some deep dissatisfaction and resentment in otherwise happy and healthy relationships. Forcing someone to have sex with you every other day, and having to look happy about it, is not fun, nor is it for a frustrated person not to have an outlet. I lived like this for many, many years and all I can say is that you would probably be better off with someone else who has a sex drive like yours. For me, it never got any better, and in fact I got to the point where I dreaded that second day and having to perform when I didn't want to--being tired, obligated, and just wanting to get some sleep and not be touched and kept up half the night. It made it hard to love him, and eventually I just left him and now have someone whose sex drives matches mine. Now I absolutely love having sex and also have orgasms regularly which I never had even once all those married years. I think that feeling of obligation was more the reason than anything else. I hated that. Now it's pure enjoyment for both of us. I really mean it. I think you're better off in the long run with someone you're more compatible with. Sex can be the deciding factor in feeling like a slave or feeling like heaven on earth, so it's very important.





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