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Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

Linzy, are you depressed or having problems with your hormones? Maybe taking a mild anti-depressant or something to balance your hormones would help. I went through some pretty strange so-called fights in a relationship that were about nothing but this person's lack of stability and depression. Fortunately, I knew it wasn't me, so I bided my time, and learned to overlook a lot of things and not take them personally. Eventually, it just got better and better. The love was the glue that kept it going--plus knowing not to react to every little thing. I had to learn to forgive and remember it wasn't me, or him really, but rather some internal tensions that needed defusing. It took a while, but it worked. Sometimes someone who starts silly fights for no reason is just testing you to see if you will leave, and over time trust builds and it slacks off down to nothing. Some people are so insecure they'll do anything to aggravate you just to prove to themselves they are unworthy when you leave them, just like they imagined. If you truly love them and see more worth staying for than walking away from, give it time, and really work at letting go and not abusing the one you love the most in the world. Transcend the petty squabbles and he will start to do the same. Sometimes you have to forget your pride and need to be right for a greater purpose. If you start being more like that, I bet he will too. When there are two stubborn people involved, it will take one of them to rise above it and break the old pattern. Why not you?

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