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Re: Big problem....
Aug 14, 2003
Staind, if I didn't look at who wrote the post, I'd almost swear it was me! I have the same issue you do, yet I realize that the problem is with ME, not with my boyfriend. It really has less to do with age than it has to do with your level of insecurity. I know that my boyfriend would never, ever cheat on me. (He knows what would happen to him if he did!) He had two relationships before me, though neither was sexual (we, too, were eachother's first). We've been together nearly three years, yet sometimes I get these bizarre thoughts in my head, such as "what if he hooked up with his ex girlfriend (whom he still works with on occasion)?" or, "what if he meets some hot girl at his new job and he finds her better looking and more interesting than me?" Or worse yet, he had a crush on a mutual friend of ours before we started dating. Even though I KNOW there is NOTHING to that any more, I still have this fear that one day I'll walk in on them making out or something. Now that is completely ridiculous.

You see what I mean? I have NO idea where these insecure thoughts come from, all I know is that they have nothing to do with him. He has never given me a reason not to trust him. But, like you, I see evidence every day, both in mainstream media and on these boards, of guys who cheat on their women, and it scares me. Then I think, wait, of all my friends who have husbands or boyfriends, how many have cheated? Answer: None.

I'm still working on this issue, so don't expect it to go away overnight. But do explain this to your boyfriend. He needs to know that you trust him.

As for the strip clubs, I'm a little torn. On one hand, I don't have a problem with, for example, pornography. As long as no one is being exploited illegally or against their will, to each their own. But something about having him go see nude women cavort around bugs me a little. I don't want to think that anyone could turn him on but me. But on the other hand, I know he loves me and thinks I'm totally hot, so I shouldn't feel insecure. So, if he ever decides to go, I'm going to go with him. (He's totally cool with that idea, and wants to buy ME a lap dance!)

Anyway, that's my take on things. Hope I've been somewhat of a help to ya! Take care.

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