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Re: Date or not??
Aug 19, 2003

If you are worried that beginning a relationship that's more than friendship with this guy would ruin what you have, don't worry about it. In my mind, the risk is well worth it. Let me tell you why.

Four years ago, I met this guy. At first, I thought very little of him. But then he and a mutual friend and I started hanging out more and more, and the three of us eventually became inseparable. Several months after getting to know this guy better, we started hanging out, just the two of us. It was summer, and our other friend was in a different city. The more time I spent with him, the more I liked him, and as time went on I started to like him as more than a friend.

Eventually I was to the point where I would do little things to try to get his attention, and I would analyze every single thing he did and every word he said to see if I could find a clue as to his feelings for me. After many long conversations with my two (frustrated) best friends, I decided that he and I should have "the talk." But I kept chickening out over and over. Then, suddenly, HE brought up the idea of discussing where our relationship was going. Stupid me kept putting him off.

But, finally, we did talk about things, and we decided to start dating. That was almost three years ago and we're still together.

Often the BEST romantic relationships start as friendships. So please don't be afraid to talk to him about your feelings. It is obvious to me that he cares very much for you. I assure you, it is very likely that he's dealing with the same dilema of whether or not to start something up with you. (I only found out later that my (now) boyfriend was having the same issues I was).

We did discuss the fact that it would change the dynamic of our relationship drastically, and we were concerned about how it would affect our friendship with the other person (who is also a girl). She, however, was all for it and has been very supportive of us.

My point is, you never know if it will work if you don't try. If it succeeds, you'll know you have a true partner in life, someone who is your friend as well as your lover (for lack of a better word).

Good luck!!!

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