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I implore you to consider the contradiction in your statement that you shouldn't have to "settle" for an unattractive, or fat woman because you are shorter than average.

I don't think you are at a place in your life where you are looking for a partner. All of the things you listed that you think are attractive in yourself are not things most women consider when choosing a partner. There are women out there who look for those types of things, status symbols, but the vast majority of women are interested in personality traits that cannot be measured by the things you listed.

I'm 5'7" and attractive by conventional American standards. More importantly, I'm a good person. For much of my teens and early twenties I was in an on and off relationship with a great guy who happened to be several inches shorter than I am. Each time we broke up, I was left confused and hurt that he turned into a totally different person seemingly overnight. He would become obsessed with school, and later work, start spending hours in the gym and blow money on ridiculous things and basically turn into someone that I just couldn't stand. It was about two years after I called it quits for good that I realized that all of that crap came from him trying to "make up" for his height. When he would get like that, he would also become very controlling and possessive of me, something that was not normally like him. He would say things like, "You know that I'm strong, right?" and pick me up and spin me around the room to demonstrate his strength. He would start wearing these stupid Miami Vice suits all the time and drop wads of cash when we went on dates. It was just insane and very unattractive. I had to listen to his resume as an employee and a boyfriend all the time and I got sick of it.

Another guy I dated in college was about the same height as the other guy, about 5'4" or so. He was completely comfortable with his height. This guy exuded confidence, not arrogance, and women were on him constantly when we went out. His apartment was filled with photos of beautiful women who were ex's and also still his friends. He was not as physically attractive as the other guy I dated, but he was still good-looking. The guy was a vertiable chick-magnet, and there isn't really one or two things about him that could attribute to this. He just had something about him.

I know plenty of couples that are happily married in which the woman is taller than the man. It isn't your height that is stopping you from having a girlfriend. Your height is not causing women to not be attracted to you. Your preoccupation with your height can certainly be a contributing factor, but I assure you that this one physical trait alone is not the culprit.

It is interesting that when I finally broke up with the first guy that I mentioned, all of the men I knew assumed that it was because he was shorter than I was. My female friends wanted to know what he did to me. No matter what other men might tell you, most women just don't think like that, the same way that most men don't have a set weight limit on the women they will date. There certainly are women out there who would not date a man shorter than she is, but is that really the kind of woman you want to be with? Even though I'm thin, there is no way I would date a man who would automatically discount a woman as a sexual, attractive being because of her weight. It seems to me that you are looking for a woman who is superficial in the same ways that you are, by your own admission, and those are the women most likely to avoid men shorter than they are.

I suspect that part of your problem may the way you think of women as partners. You might not have any problems with having women as friends, but potential romantic partners can generally sense this kind of thing. You feel entitled to a certain "type" of woman. You talk about finding a woman the way one might talk about finding a new car or apartment.

Best of luck to you, seriously. You really do seem to be looking to fix this, but I honestly think that you are looking in the wrong places within yourself.

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