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Relationship Health Message Board

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Balissa said exactly what I was trying to get across, except she was a bit more coherent.

I think it is a dangerous and sad thing to eliminate someone from your "dating pool" based on any one characteristic. I am not turned on by overweight men, but I dated one for 2 years awhile back. I wasn't instantly attracted to him, but his personality was so fun and sweet that I couldn't help but fall for him. He was much more concerned by his weight then I ever was.

I think what's hindering this individual is his own negative feelings about his height. He seems angry at women for dismissing him based on height, when really there may be another reason altogether for this. For example, he already assumes they dislike him or do not take him seriously as a dating partner because of his height. In truth, they may be dismissing him because he seems unapproachable or angry towards them because of his assumption that they will reject him based on this characteristic.

He is wise to not want to date a girl he isn't attracted to, merely to have a girlfriend. He is also "allowed" to have standards in a woman he dates. However, narrowing your dating pool just to prove that short men can get attractive dates is not in your best interest. If you were tall and happy with your self-image, would you really be so dead set on finding someone that is physically worthy of your company?

I appreciate how I can comment on your situation without you taking it personally. This shows a great desire to learn more about yourself and how you are perceived by others. As you have said, a message board may not be the answer to all questions, but it can provide some insight from impartial observers. My advice, if you're still reading: Stop seeing yourself as a short person. You are not the sum total of your physical characteristics, and quality women won't notice something so trivial in selecting a mate. Stop searching for someone who you feel can show the world that "a short guy can get a hot girl," and start looking for someone you can talk to and who has emotional stability and a good heart. Take it from those of us who HAVE been dating all these years....sometimes the best partners are the most unlikely of partners. You are a hard worker and are intelligent in sharing your have just as good a chance as the next guy.

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