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I implore you to consider the contradiction in your statement that you shouldn't have to "settle" for an unattractive, or fat woman because you are shorter than average.

I don't think you are at a place in your life where you are looking for a partner. All of the things you listed that you think are attractive in yourself are not things most women consider when choosing a partner. There are women out there who look for those types of things, status symbols, but the vast majority of women are interested in personality traits that cannot be measured by the things you listed.

I'm 5'7" and attractive by conventional American standards. More importantly, I'm a good person. For much of my teens and early twenties I was in an on and off relationship with a great guy who happened to be several inches shorter than I am. Each time we broke up, I was left confused and hurt that he turned into a totally different person seemingly overnight. He would become obsessed with school, and later work, start spending hours in the gym and blow money on ridiculous things and basically turn into someone that I just couldn't stand. It was about two years after I called it quits for good that I realized that all of that crap came from him trying to "make up" for his height. When he would get like that, he would also become very controlling and possessive of me, something that was not normally like him. He would say things like, "You know that I'm strong, right?" and pick me up and spin me around the room to demonstrate his strength. He would start wearing these stupid Miami Vice suits all the time and drop wads of cash when we went on dates. It was just insane and very unattractive. I had to listen to his resume as an employee and a boyfriend all the time and I got sick of it.

Another guy I dated in college was about the same height as the other guy, about 5'4" or so. He was completely comfortable with his height. This guy exuded confidence, not arrogance, and women were on him constantly when we went out. His apartment was filled with photos of beautiful women who were ex's and also still his friends. He was not as physically attractive as the other guy I dated, but he was still good-looking. The guy was a vertiable chick-magnet, and there isn't really one or two things about him that could attribute to this. He just had something about him.

I know plenty of couples that are happily married in which the woman is taller than the man. It isn't your height that is stopping you from having a girlfriend. Your height is not causing women to not be attracted to you. Your preoccupation with your height can certainly be a contributing factor, but I assure you that this one physical trait alone is not the culprit.

It is interesting that when I finally broke up with the first guy that I mentioned, all of the men I knew assumed that it was because he was shorter than I was. My female friends wanted to know what he did to me. No matter what other men might tell you, most women just don't think like that, the same way that most men don't have a set weight limit on the women they will date. There certainly are women out there who would not date a man shorter than she is, but is that really the kind of woman you want to be with? Even though I'm thin, there is no way I would date a man who would automatically discount a woman as a sexual, attractive being because of her weight. It seems to me that you are looking for a woman who is superficial in the same ways that you are, by your own admission, and those are the women most likely to avoid men shorter than they are.

I suspect that part of your problem may the way you think of women as partners. You might not have any problems with having women as friends, but potential romantic partners can generally sense this kind of thing. You feel entitled to a certain "type" of woman. You talk about finding a woman the way one might talk about finding a new car or apartment.

Best of luck to you, seriously. You really do seem to be looking to fix this, but I honestly think that you are looking in the wrong places within yourself.
Balissa said exactly what I was trying to get across, except she was a bit more coherent.

I think it is a dangerous and sad thing to eliminate someone from your "dating pool" based on any one characteristic. I am not turned on by overweight men, but I dated one for 2 years awhile back. I wasn't instantly attracted to him, but his personality was so fun and sweet that I couldn't help but fall for him. He was much more concerned by his weight then I ever was.

I think what's hindering this individual is his own negative feelings about his height. He seems angry at women for dismissing him based on height, when really there may be another reason altogether for this. For example, he already assumes they dislike him or do not take him seriously as a dating partner because of his height. In truth, they may be dismissing him because he seems unapproachable or angry towards them because of his assumption that they will reject him based on this characteristic.

He is wise to not want to date a girl he isn't attracted to, merely to have a girlfriend. He is also "allowed" to have standards in a woman he dates. However, narrowing your dating pool just to prove that short men can get attractive dates is not in your best interest. If you were tall and happy with your self-image, would you really be so dead set on finding someone that is physically worthy of your company?

I appreciate how I can comment on your situation without you taking it personally. This shows a great desire to learn more about yourself and how you are perceived by others. As you have said, a message board may not be the answer to all questions, but it can provide some insight from impartial observers. My advice, if you're still reading: Stop seeing yourself as a short person. You are not the sum total of your physical characteristics, and quality women won't notice something so trivial in selecting a mate. Stop searching for someone who you feel can show the world that "a short guy can get a hot girl," and start looking for someone you can talk to and who has emotional stability and a good heart. Take it from those of us who HAVE been dating all these years....sometimes the best partners are the most unlikely of partners. You are a hard worker and are intelligent in sharing your thoughts...you have just as good a chance as the next guy.





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