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I know you've been begging and pleading for masculine advice, but I think the ladies on here are doing a great job of explaining the situation. Sometimes I think we understand the male psyche better then they do!

Anyway, I personally think this is an issue dealing with change. You've been dating during the ages of 15-20. Those are some of the most volatile times in a person's life. You may be very compatable in high school, but find out in college that you are totally wrong for each other. That happened to me, and it was a total eye opener to see that I was with the wrong person. I look at e-mails from my boyfriend back when he was 18 (he's 22 now) and he sounds like a totally different guy. People change over time, and so do relationships. Your guy obviously grew into a huge jerk these past few years, and probably showed major signs of problems. Perhaps you didn't feel the same way and ignored those symptoms, but I bet if you look back you can find some warning signs that he was not happy in the relationship and he was quite different from when you started dating.

As for moving on so quickly, the relationship was probably over for him long before he actually broke it off. I'm embarassed to admit I've done the same thing. I dated my high school boyfriend for a year longer then I should have. I knew we were having problems. I knew he wasn't right for me. But I kept trying to convince myself he was "the one." Well, while I was dating him, I started falling for other people. What finally gave me the courage to break up with him was that I knew I truly was in love with someone else. When I started dating this guy a few weeks later, my "ex" was shocked and hurt. He wondered how I could've moved on so quickly. The answer was, I had moved on long ago.

I also think that this is somewhat of a "guy thing." Many guys I know don't give a thought about any time period except the present. My current boyfriend drives me nuts like this......he won't think about anything until it's actually happening. Your guy probably isn't dwelling over these decisions like you are. We analyze things MUCH more then men do. He might feel bad that he broke up through a text message, but I bet he's not at home thinking about it. That's in the past, and guys don't "do" the past. They move on quickly because they aren't dwelling on things or analyzing things. They are just dealing with what's in the present. Not all guys are like this, but I think it's a very strong tendency in them.

Anyway, this guy sounds like a real loser to be honest. I know you had some wonderful years together, but consider the way he's treated you lately. He has obviously changed. Try to realize that the guy you are currently pining for is not the guy he currently is. In many ways, they guy you loved IS dead....he's not that person anymore, and hopefully someday you can move on to someone who IS the person you want to be with.

The fact that he moved on so quickly is awful. I can only imagine how that must hurt.....we can say that guys live in the present, but that doesn't excuse the hurt that it's causing you. If he really had been into the relationship right up until the break-up, he wouldn't have moved on so soon. My guess is that he fell out of love quite some time ago, and is just too self-absorbed to realize that this current behavior is hurting you.





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