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Relationship Health Message Board

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i just read the post on "signs of cheating" and thought i'd ask a question of my own. what if the person you are dealing with can lie so good that they can actually look you straight in the eyes and swear to God on their life, and not show any signs of lying? this is the case with my boyfriend, and had it not been for the girl he was messing with, i would've never known he was lying. now my new dilemma is i just found out something last night, about him making plans with a girl to go clubbing, and she was upset because he never showed. when i confronted him, he looked me straight in the eyes and said it was a lie. why would he make plans with another woman when he's with me, and that it was obvious someone was just trying to break us up. well, i'm in the situation where i "want" to believe him, but i'm having a really hard time with it all. i wrote a post a while back about my boyfriend and a new job he had started. i thought it was very odd that a mechanic would all of a sudden start wearing cologne to work, leave up to 2 hours early, and get home up to 3 hours late. but when i confronted him on it, he swore it was legit, and since i had no proof, i let it go. anyway, the girl he was supposed to meet at the club was someone who he worked with at the new job. she just so happens to know a friend of mine, and this is how i found out everything. totally accidental on the girls part, but i will explain that later. anyway, after he denied it, i told him we were going to the apartment complex she lived in and we were both going to confront her. he laughed it off and said that was fine. since it was already so late, and my kids were in bed, i told him we were going there today.... again he laughed it off, told me i was paranoid, and said he'd go cause he had nothing to hide. also told me he felt like i thought he had something to hide, because i told him 4 or 5 times how serious i was about us going and confronting this. well late last night he gets sick. he claims he was up all night throwing up, but i never once saw proof of this. he told me to tell a friend of his (was coming to get him for work this morning) when he got here, that he wouldn't be able to go to work today, that he was having me take him to the hospital. so i asked him, "are you sure you're going to have me take you?" he said yes. after his friend came and left, i went and told him it was time to go, and now he doesn't want to. he's wanting to sleep, he's not throwing up anymore. i don't even know if i can trust if he's truely sick because up until i mentioned what i found out last night, he was fine. an hour to an hour and a half later he starts having stomach pains, and after i fall asleep he was up all night puking. needless to say, we are not confronting that girl today, he's too sick. ok, anyway, last night before i found this out, he left the house around 7pm and said he was going to his sisters. at 8:30 pm his sisters husband calls to find out when my boyfriend will be there. i was furious. at 9:15pm my boyfriend calls me from his sisters (after i found out about this girl). i asked him where he had been, and he claims he ran into a friend of his on his way to his sisters and decided to go to his house for a while. now this happens quite often. he'll leave and tell me he's going somewhere, but is gone longer than he tells me, and always runs into friends of his that he decides to visit before doing what he told me he was going to do. and for some reason, he can never call me to let me know he had a change of plans. to me, it all points to him cheating. maybe he hasn't had the chance to go all the way with it, but reguardless, to me its all cheating. so now i don't know if everything i see and everything thats happened all points to the same thing, or if i'm just being over paranoid on a few things. oh, and he quit tha job where she works, and is now at another shop. only guys work there, and since he's been back to work there he hasn't once worn cologne! any opinions?

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