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Well, some of you may know from my previous posts the trouble I've been having with my boyfriend. While I love him very much and he's such a wonderful person, the way he treats me is questionable and finally things came to a head this afternoon.

A brief update: I've had trouble with his numerous other female friends-- one in particular, his ex girlfriend. She broke into his apartment one day and stole my stuff and threw it in the dumpster, showing that even after 6 months of he and I dating, and 2 years of them being broken up, she still was having trouble dealing with it and he wasn't making it clear the new situation. There are still pictures of her up in his apartment (only one of me which I provided), and when we've gone out, he's introduced me as "his friend" numerous times instead of his "girlfriend", like I have been for the past 7 months.

Well, things were looking positive. For the past month, he's been attentive and sweet-- calling, emailing, and setting aside time for me. While it's not as much as I would like, it's been enough for me to rest assured that I was important to him and to give him the benefit of the doubt.

Then another girl enters the picture. Well, she's been there all along-- she's a friend of his (and sort of mine) that we've met mutually through ballet (he's a dancer). He's 26, I'm 20, and she's 18. They spend a lot of time together, talking late on the phone, sending emails to each other, and getting together one-on-one. It's troubling, and early on I mentioned it bothered me, but he assured me there was nothing to worry about. Well, in this past week, on Monday, he went over to her house and stayed there so late he couldn't call me like he said he would, and on Tuesday, he told me he was going to spend time with his friend, John, but instead took an imprompu beach trip with her, not letting me know, not inviting me, not asking my permission.

This was the last straw. He told me about this beach trip in the car as we were on the way to hang out with her.

This incident also follows on the footsteps of this weekend when he had plans with me but cancelled because he had made former plans (and forgot) with his ex girlfriend. To me, this shows he'll blow off plans to be with one girl, but he won't alter plans in favor of me. I'm not a priority at all. :(

We've had hours of talking after all of these incidents. He's always been really sweet to talk when I need to talk, and he knew that the beach trip would upset me. He's also really easy going-- I could have done the same exact stuff to him and he probably wouldn't care. But I'm a passionate, emotional person, and once I say I LOVE YOU, I mean it! I want to be that number one, I want to be the priority in his life. He says I am, but then he fails to show it.

So... that's the situation. I went to his place today and told him to take a break for a few days. He cried, and it broke my heart to see him so upset... GOD I never wanted to bring that sort of pain to him. :( But I hope that what I'm doing is right. I mean, i need to figure out if I can really deal with this and be in this relationship happily, and he needs to figure out if he really even wants this relationship. As far as I'm concerned, he can't have his cake and eat it to-- it's me, or it's all the other women in his life. (There are many others, but I don't want to go into all those right now... it could take forever!)

Thanks for reading this LOOOONG post... just really needed to vent.

[This message has been edited by Rosie20 (edited 06-12-2003).]





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