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Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

Hi Butterfly8. I'm glad you've talked to your boyfriend about this and are going to talk to him again tonight. In my opinion, it sounds like your boyfriend is avoiding the issues. If he says he wants to wait about 8 more years, why? That's a long time! You will definitely be more than fed up by then, especially if after 7 years you're feeling this way, and you'll regret not doing something about it sooner. Maybe he just never wants to get married. That doesn't mean it has anything to do with you, but some people just aren't the marrying types.

I don't think he will change. People don't change unless THEY want to and somehow it doesn't seem like he'll change. If anything, he's putting it off by saying "8 more years" so that when the time comes he'll say he needs 8 more or he changed his mind and does not want to ever get married. You said, "He thinks I will want to spend every waking minute with him, and that is not the case." Well, I'm not married so again this is only my opinion, but when a couple is married, they do wake up to eachother every morning and that doesn't mean they spend every single minute together, but shouldn't you WANT to spend a lot of time together with the person you want to marry and spend your life with? Do you think that if you do marry him it will bother you if he tells you he needs a lot of "space" and time to himself? Are you really happy when you're around him? If you find yourself looking at other guys, that's a sign that you're definitely curious and wanting more and better for yourself. It's a hard situation, but you need to do what's right for YOU. Why is it okay for him to wait out the "8 years" because that's what HE wants? How about compromise? Is he ignoring the fact that YOU want to be married and have a family? Good luck with your talk tonight. Just think about everything you want to discuss and make sure there's a resolution. It's hard when the relationship has lasted so long that you both feel so comfortable, but if you stay together and it isn't right, it won't be so comfortable afterall. You DO need to be happy!

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