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Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


Hoosier, it is our age showing. Even during the free love of the 60's and 70's, I always thought you should be married if you were in love and wanted to have a family. It just ususally works out better that way, for the parents and the children. We older people have seen too many people hurt doing just what the younger people here are doing. But, they can only learn from their own mistakes and any preaching will fall on deaf ears. I know, I never listened to my mother because I suspected she had never been young and wanted to have fun like me!!!!!!! I am sure my daughter feels the same way about me and all of the posters here think we are old-fashioned and just not with it. I don't even know what cool term to use to describe us "mature" (good word for middle-age) women.

Butterfly, in all of my years of experience, people that date for 8 yrs. ususally do not end up married happily ever after. There is some reason the relationship has fallen into companionship rather than romance. It could come from either side, it could be you - it could be him. After eight years not to have concrete plans probably means there will not be any. You sound as though this would not surprise you or really break your heart. Good thinking!! If you want marriage and children, is this the person you want to be with for the rest of your life? Is he willing to make a committment? If not, are you ready to move on? Does he want children? If he doesn't and you do, it will never work out. If he doesn't want to get married, ask him why? Are you willing to waste more years waiting for him to decide?
You said in your first post that this was something you could only solve yourself, again you are thinking straight.

There have been famous couples (pretend) over the years that dated and never married. Tv never explained the relationships but think of Marshall Dillon and Miss Kitty - Barney Fyffe (not sure of the spelling, from the Andy Griffith show) and Thelma.
They dated eternally and never got married.

This is a view from a 24 year old, my nephew. He just recently got married. We were talking about his younger brother and his girl friend of 4 years. Did he think they would get married after she finishes school? He looked at me and said "You know, I don't think they will ever get married, they have dated too long. You know sooner than four years if you are really in love."

Just some food for thought.





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