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Relationship Health Message Board

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The first boyfriend I ever had broke up with me because "he wasnt ready for a girlfriend yet" I gave this guy my everything and it hurt like a son of a biotch when he broke up with me,I cried for days,I couldnt be alone because the feelings were just too intense,I dreamed of him every night,woke up crying hysterically,thought about everything he said and thought about why he would say such things to me.I played his words over and over in my mind,I tortured myself with reasons and ideas on what i thought he was really thinking.He hurt me really bad,I never knew the pain of a broken heart could have been stronger than any physical pain I had ever experienced.I didnt sleep with him,Im a virgin.Anyways,that was back in may and now Im with another guy and things are going great,hes really great,whenever he smiles I just cant help but smile back at him,he tells me Im beautiful and always tells me that hes so lucky to have the most beautiful girl in the world with himI hangh out with his mom and his sister whenever Im at his place,which is like everyday,wow,is he ever great.hes never had a girlfriend before and Im the first person hes kissed or held hands with or pretty much anythihg with a girl.He used to be really overweight when he was younger and just recently buffed up in the past year.Im 18 by the way.Hes 19 and so was my last boyfriend.My last boyfriend also had never had a girlfriend before or ever done anything with a girl.(small town lol)The thing is,in the relationship I have going on right now,Im always trying to look for the same things that happened with my first boyfriend.I always think that boyfriend 2 is going to do the exact same thing to me as boyfriend #1. I hate thinking like this.Whenever he does something I always come to this conclusion that this reltionship I have with him is just going to be a repeat of the first one and its hard for me to give myself,all of myself to him becasue I never want to feel the pain that I did with the other relationship,it just hurt too much.I dont know if Im just "traumatized" by my first relationship or if im right to think that he will do the same thing to me.I dont know if its my gut feeling or if I just havent forgotten and moved on from the past.I really dont know what to do.I hate thinking that hes going to break up with me all the time,becuase I think that alot.If hes like 4 or 5minutes late,I automatically assume that hes avoiding me or something but the thing is,hes so good to me when were together.We,just tonight,went out for dinner and a movie,hes such a gentlemen too,always holding doors and just being very polite about things.What can I do to stop thinking like this becuase its making me get reallyt bad anxiety at times.Any suggestions would be appreciated.thanks

Peace,Im out

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