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Re: Very confused
Sep 23, 2003
Her friends are the kind who always wanted to be successful, popular and so on and they are always competing who gets the best in life. I guess by having me she felt inferior and her friend's boyfriends are succesful, older and so on. ALthough she's still seeing me, but we always have to do it like we're hiding, I can't go to her house to pick her up and she had to lie to her mother about who she's going out with. I asked her to let her mum knows about it and not hide it because that will make matters worst. I wanted her mum to accept the fact slowly that her daughter loves someone and she should let it be if I am not a bad person. I asked her mum to give me a chance and get to know me better before judging me but she said its not about knowing you, its just about your age. Then her mum did things that hurt me the most by telling my gf that I came from a bad background, my dad is a bad person and I am a bad person and so on, all which she had no evidence to. The church that I once attended( I left after what the pastor told me ), is not a bad place but the pastor was new and he just wanted to be in favour of the parents in that church. So everyone else is picking on me. Now I am in another church, attending regularly with my girlfriend. No problem there. But her mum is taking a lot of her time so I only get to see her once a week, that which is a Sunday actually during church and after that she has to return. She don't even dare to tell her mum she wants to go out anymore because she don't know how to find excuses. So her mum will call her up everytime she finishes work and tell her, we're at the dinner place and we'll wait until you come, so she had to go. I've never had dinner with her for 2 months already so I really felt her mum is very selfish. And yes her mum do believe in arranged marriage and has set up dates for her several times but she just ignore it. The worst thing I had to feel was when we just started, her mum arranged for her to meet a guy who is interested in her and wanted to marry her straight because he's kinda old, and I asked her to say NO to the appointment but she said she had to be nice and at least attend the dinner with the guy. How can a man handle that? I let my girl go out on a match making dinner night with a guy who is pursuing marriage with her?? And when I got angry with her, she got angry with me back saying I don't understand. I am beginning to feel that I am wrong. I just want ladies opinion. Am I really insensitive with what I do? I just want some recognition. I don't want to be able to be called her boyfriend only when her friends and no one else can see me and her together. But in front of her friends, which I went out with together before, she had to pretend I am just another friend so I can't hold her hands, I can't get near her, and I had to endure seeing guys talking to her getting intimate with her while I stand one side just pretending to smile at that. No one had any idea how angry I was that moment. When I fetch her to work sometime, she would ask me to park the car far away, because she don't want her boss to see a me fetching her to work. Now that is like rubbing salt to my injuries. THere was once, she planned for a dinner with me so we don't want to bring two cars, so I took a cab to a place to wait for her to finish work, that place mind you have no seats and I have to stand waiting. She lets me stand there and wait for her for 1 hour, and when I show some faces, she got angry again so I said sorry. She had a really close guy friend, which occasionally she will go out with, this guy particularly liked her before but she rejected him once, her mum liked this guy cause he's ok and he's older. I don't like her going out with him, not because I am easily jealous but because she refuse to let him know that she already had a boyfriend. When I am angry she said I was ridiculous. Am I being over jealous? I am really frustrated. Woman, please tell me your point of view. If I am wrong, just tell me so that I could change to make my gf feel happier.

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