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Hey Amaru,

Sorry that you are getting a bad rap by some people here, but I guess it goes along with the territory.
Are you saying you are currently "holding off" on dating any girl you are interested in until you have a place of your own just so she wont think of you as a loser? If that is the case, forgetaboutit. There you go again with the fear of acceptance... if any of these girls reject you, you will go into another cycle of depression and your world will be knocked upside down, right? And I guess it's okay to go to a club with a girl you are not interested in because you know the chances of her rejecting you are slim to none? Right? Why do you want to date a girl you are not interested in? Amaru, don't let the world around you control who you are and how you lead your life. Life is too short for that kind of behavior. Call up that girl you met at the club.... don't even think twice about it. If she is really a good person then she will not mind that you won't be moving out of your parents' house until next year. If she does mind, then she is just superficial to begin with and you wouldn't want her anyway.
Which brings me to my next point.... being superficial. I am not saying you are superficial, however, Amaru, I think you are putting way too much emphasis on looks and ******d appearance, a very superficial quality by itself. I understand that it is important to you and I don't knock you for that... but you need to understand that we are all so much more than what we look on the outside. There is this thing called slippery slope in psychology. It's when you let one area of your life trickle down into other areas of your life. You are letting this idea or notion of always having to look good on the outside interfere with other areas of your life- that being fear of rejection and wanting acceptance. Both, wanting acceptance and fearing rejection, are human qualities and to a degree we all exhibit it to some degree, but I believe they can be just as superficial as one can make them to be. For some acceptance holds a very deep meaning, it means being loved and respected by family members and loved ones.. . To others, like perhaps you, acceptance can also be as minute and trivial as getting a look from some strange person and when you let such acceptance, or lack there of, from others as superficial and trivial as that affect you, you will no doubtly be heading for some depression, anxiety and much unhappiness. I am not saying "let go of yourself", gain as much weight as possible and never take a shower. I am just saying that learn to appreciate what is on the inside of a person, starting with yourself, as well as appreciating the ouside of a person. In your previous posts, you mentioned in detail the depth of your looks, but never the depth of your character. I don't think you mentioned once what type of person you are or what characteristics you behold other then you are a great person. Let us and others know what you think makes you a great person. It is just as important.
So work on yourself:
1) Dont let others control your actions and how you lead your life.
2) Truely understand and appreciate all your personal characteristics that define who you are as a person as well as appreciating your physical characteristics... so you inturn will not be so affected by the superficial tendencies of others.
3) Buid up your self esteem and confidence. Realize that self worth comes from within and never from acceptance by others, as superficial or as deep a form it is in... from a mere glance up to love and respect.

I don't want to sound like a preacher or a psychologist, I do hope some of these words do help you.

[This message has been edited by nadine (edited 09-28-2003).]

[This message has been edited by nadine (edited 09-28-2003).]

[This message has been edited by nadine (edited 09-28-2003).]





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