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[quote]Originally posted by dsheldon3:
[b]If you would stop herassing your wife about it and start giving her more affection you'd be a lot better off.[/b][/quote]

I think I dont understand. Most of your advice has been right on the mark with everyone else. You said you would not like your spouce doing any of this, that you like a man with my views, and I think you even feel that this secret date was wrong, changing of languages and this traveling salesman trying to lessen the value of my wifes marriage was not right. As you can see, I never complained when she ended going out with the other single guy and the other girl. That guy she ended up going out with ( or at least she said she went out with these two "real" friends" spoke english , even though it was harder for them, were very supportive of us, NEVER tried to say any secrets, were very professional at the convention and were very polite and respectful of us at the convention ).
I give her TONS of affection. I send her flowers ( silk and real ), write her TONS of letters and cards, Call her VERY often. I do all these WAY more then she does for me. When we are together I shower her with attention. What ever we do, Im happy to do it with her. Im waiting till her VISA is approved and we are having a "second wedding" ( we had a legal and a very private religious one here in the USA) in her country REAL soon. I make her feel safe by giving her my text pager where she can reach me 24 hours a day via internet, ALL my phone numbers and my familys numbers.
All Im asking for is the truth about the events that happened. If it was so benign wouldnt you think that she wouldnt be so worried to give me any more details ? Dont you think its strange that she is mad at me ? I simply dont know why she would be so paranoid to simply be honest, IF, it was nothing, then why not fess up ?? This guy was clearly up to something and his intentions do not seem honorable. I think he was thinking about his own pleasure maybe that night or in the future. Theres just no reason for someone like this to try to get this involved "over business". Clearly in his early email he wrote to her, he states " would you be willing to "risk jeapordy" in sneaking out to a dinner date with him. She said on IM that she had told this guy that she has a bad "BOYFRIEND" (she didnt say husband) and when I introduced myself as her husband at the convention ( because she seemed like she didnt want to introduce me to him )he seemed puzzeled like he had no idea she was married. VERY soon after that they changed to Spanish and she directed him to a little table with only TWO chairs for them. Her excuse later was " I dont know how to say "NO" to guys when they ask me out" !!!!!!
I have always been a VERY good botfriend, fiance and now husband to her. She is my world and my eyes are only for her. I would do anything for her and is the ONLY woman I ever let get close to my daughter. Im the ONLY boyfriend of hers that has ever traveled to her home country ( normally she had to visit them ) Ive given her more cards and flowers then ALLL her other boyfriends put together. We spend EVERY vacation together ( well, as many as we can ). I wore a wedding band before we were even really married as she said was custom in her country ? And now that we have been maried for 8-9 months, ONLY take it off when I absolutly need to ( which is VERY rare ). I carry pictures of my wife and daughter and show everyone ( something that my X says I do MUCH MUCH more then she does ).
If this was YOUR husband, would you at least want to know the truth and the depth of what may have ( at past conventions )or what was planned to happen ? The truth is all Im asking for. And some williness to hear this kind of stuf wont happen anymore. She did say she would never attend these conventions with out me. That helped alot.

[This message has been edited by Needhelpnow (edited 10-30-2003).]

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