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I don't think there is any chance of mistaking his message...he spelled it our very clearly (one of men's wonderful qualities).

This all speaks to balance...we all need a delicate balance of work, rest, family, friends, recreation, chores, etc...For every person the list is different and the order of importance is very different. Some of us can manage much more variation to their "schedule" and others cannot tolerate even tiny deviations from the plan.

Living in harmony with anyone requires a great deal of mutual respect for each others time and space. It takes constant attention to subtle cues from each other when the boundaries are being broached. These do not consider love, they are basic common sense that come from adult experience in dealing with other people. Ask any successful roommates what the secret is, and they will all say...respect.

Living together is not a good idea for you two...it seems the lines have become too blurry for your boyfriend to find a place to work on his thoughts. It sounds like you have stopped your life for this, leaving your bf with the role of providing all of your social needs. Just too much!

I lived with a wonderful man for 8 years, then he moved back into his old house a mile away. We went back to dating, enjoying two houses to cook dinners, watch movies, share friends, and maintain our individual interests at the same time. We made this move for these positive reasons, and it worked! We have never been closer, in fact, I am visiting his home for the weekend right now.

It came down to the fact that every night when he came home from work, he needed to vent a bit, and un-wind. I am very ill, and keep my environment as calm and peaceful as possible, for my own healing. The few minutes after he walked in the door were too much for me..That was the bottom line, nothing horrible, nothing personal...but now he goes to his house after work, winds down, showers, and comes for dinner! Just that little thing was enough reason to get our own places back.

Think about it :p
[QUOTE=writeleft;4588925]I don't think there is any chance of mistaking his message...he spelled it our very clearly (one of men's wonderful qualities).

This all speaks to balance...we all need a delicate balance of work, rest, family, friends, recreation, chores, etc...For every person the list is different and the order of importance is very different. Some of us can manage much more variation to their "schedule" and others cannot tolerate even tiny deviations from the plan.

Living in harmony with anyone requires a great deal of mutual respect for each others time and space. It takes constant attention to subtle cues from each other when the boundaries are being broached. These do not consider love, they are basic common sense that come from adult experience in dealing with other people. Ask any successful roommates what the secret is, and they will all say...respect.

Living together is not a good idea for you two...it seems the lines have become too blurry for your boyfriend to find a place to work on his thoughts. It sounds like you have stopped your life for this, leaving your bf with the role of providing all of your social needs. Just too much!

I lived with a wonderful man for 8 years, then he moved back into his old house a mile away. We went back to dating, enjoying two houses to cook dinners, watch movies, share friends, and maintain our individual interests at the same time. We made this move for these positive reasons, and it worked! We have never been closer, in fact, I am visiting his home for the weekend right now.

It came down to the fact that every night when he came home from work, he needed to vent a bit, and un-wind. I am very ill, and keep my environment as calm and peaceful as possible, for my own healing. The few minutes after he walked in the door were too much for me..That was the bottom line, nothing horrible, nothing personal...but now he goes to his house after work, winds down, showers, and comes for dinner! Just that little thing was enough reason to get our own places back.

Think about it :p[/QUOTE]


your post has got me thinking alot. and i am going to definately take action to sort this issue out. i will be focusing on building my own social life. you opened my eyes to the realization that i have put way too much on him no wonder it drove him away. i am glad you and your partner made that mature decision and that it brought you 2 closer. thank you so much x





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