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Relationship Health Message Board


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It is very true that I never wanted to marry even before I met him - it's by no means a matter of, "I wanted to marry, but after meeting him, I don't want to." I just never saw marriage as a worthwhile thing to do because I've personally always felt that I didn't need to marry someone to prove my love for them.

And no, I do not want to have a family with him, but that's not because of him either. I've never wanted children and actually wanted to get sterilized (BF said he'd be mad if I did this too), but he says he kind of does want children. I have told him about my feelings on this issue more than once, but he still occasionally says, "Oh, if we have kids...." This is one reason I wouldn't want to marry him if I did want to be married - he and I disagree on kids. But we'd most likely never be able to afford them anyway, and he realizes that, so thankfully he's not a complete dunce on that matter.

I definitely want to tell him how I feel before he tries to propose, but I know that will probably not happen for a good, long time - unless he does what my ex did and propose to me with gumball machine rings and rings he took from his mum's jewelry box. But I need to figure out how to tell him I want no marriage and my reasoning as gently as possible - he got very angry when I told him the first time I didn't want children because I said it kind of casually and coldly, so I need to kind of sugar-coat it a bit, but without obstructing the point I'm trying to make. He's an emotionally sensitive guy, so I don't want to be too blunt with him that it hurts more than it has to.

Thanks very much for the advice, and also for no one telling me that I'm mean for not wanting to get married, or that someone loves me enough to marry me and I need to take them up on their offer.





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