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Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


I don't want to get married, period. If I absolutely HAD to - like if my life depended on it - I would want the most practical, economical wedding ever because I just don't see the point of starting out a marriage with a whole bunch of debt. So, no, I not only don't want to get married, but if I did, I would not be at all comfortable with my BF's marriage terms. Unlike many ladies (and men), I do not like being the center of attention - I can't even stand when people celebrate my birthday or watch me open a gift. I would have to be significantly inebriated to go through a wedding, and that's saying a lot considering I don't drink whatsoever.

I've told my boyfriend that if we were to marry, I would not want a wedding where loads of people are staring me down. I couldn't handle it - I'd faint, I'd vomit, I'd void my bladder, I'd have an anxiety attack and start shaking. But he thinks I just should get over that because he doesn't understand what social situations do to me and thinks I can just up and act "normal" for him. Grrr.

And I do care a lot about him; sometimes I want to smack him, but at the end of the day, I love the guy. I think that can be said of most relationships. I just don't want him to think that my refusal to marry him means I love him less because he seems to feel that the ultimate proof of love is marriage, but I just don't think it's necessary because being legally bound to him will not make me love him more. I may need to just say in every other sentence that it's not because of him because I cannot drive that point home enough.

And I think common law marriages were abolished in my state (Pennsylvania) a few years ago. Aw well.





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