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Relationship Health Message Board

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How long does MidLifeCrisis last in women? My story starts last Oct. when my wife got a big raise. It empowered her over me somewhat, and at the same time she lost weight and was looking super. Then by january I caught onto an Internet love affair by breaking into her social websites in which she uses a fake name and doesn't mention being married. I read what I never thought was possible and was crushed. Saving me was the fact that she broke it off the day before I found out and I thought she still had marital values. Through counseling I decided I would fight for her love and did everything great for her even surprising myself and won her back for 6 months with no arguments and great life going forward cautiosly. She stopped browsing and spent her time with me. Then she started up again in june, but it is her hobby to learn about rock bands and trade music with others on the Internet. I did not want her to resent me for disallowing this(previous post recommendation), so I ignored it. But that is her secret passion, to be involved with a long haired guitaist from a band, or maybe many, that I do not know. She does have 1000 friends, all of whom are rock bands with long hair and 100 or so individual people who just like the music as she does.
She got another great job offer in September 1000 miles away, but son was in last year of high school and we couldn't drag him out there so I stayed behind with him as I am retired. Plan is to move next May to be together. We see each other every 2 weeks for a few days but travel is expensive. Last weekend I was there for 3 days and she did not treat me right. She had scheduled 4 appointments for the weekend I was there. I had her cancel 2 of them and went with her to the others. I thought she would have wanted to spend the precious time with me. Seemed ok but something was amiss. been married almost 24 years and I know her very well.
Got home Monday and went through mail finding the phone bill. Noticed unusual numbers on her phone. Investigated and came up with 3 guys in rock bands, one of which was coming to her town on Wednesday. By using the Internet i found texts were really numerous on Mon thru wed so I figured out that he had gotten her a ticket to the show, hence she just had her hair and nails done, bought new outfits and new cosmetics on monday and tuesday.
She lied to me telling me she was going to bed early, which then through me into a panic attack or depression, and knew I had to talk to her to get me out of it. I did not mention what I knew, just that I was really down and needed her to lift me. I was afraid of getting worse and possibly suicidal but I made it through the night.
Next day I confronted her as she wouldnt answer my morning wake up call until 2 hours later, even turning off her phone after I made first call, ignoring me. So I texted her what I had found out and she admitted to lying and going to concert by herself but nothing else. Then she brought up divorce for me spying on her.
Will MLC end after a year, and will she still have desire to stray from marriage? All she is worried about is how old she looks(almost 50) is is doing everything to combat that instead of accepting it.
Should I put forth an ultimatum, not knowing if I can go through with it?
Can a 55 year old man overcome a 25+ year relationship and move on? ( we also have no friends and almost no family, I will be alone except for my adult kids, and I have no job)

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