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Thank you everyone for all your replies. It means a lot. I used to belong to another message board (a great site by the way), but I got heated and got myself banned. I regret it because I had been posting there for 9 years....most people there knew me and my story.

Now, I have to start all over again and honestly there is so much to write to fully understand where I'm coming from, but I will narrow it down as much as I can.

My ex-husband devastated me when he left. It honestly took me almost 5 years to really get over it - and to be more honest, there is still a scar there and I don't think I'll ever be "over it"- its been 9 years. But at least now, I am not hurt when I see him nor do I think of him in that way. It devastated me so much because we were compatible, hardly argued, had same values (or so I thought), same interests and we have two children together (who were very young at the time when he left for the other woman).

Now, my ex-boyfriend, the one who "dumped" me in May - we had a lot of issues. We argued a lot. He was an addict when I met him and I thought that I could deal with it. I could not. I myself became an addict (drinking & gambling) and I think we fed off each others addictions. However, there were the good times, he made me laugh like no other person could, the sex was off the hook, he's very handsome, he's hardworking and respectful (at times). Anyway, I fell for him and loved him a lot - so when he broke it off it was like reliving my ex-husband's leaving all over again.

I didn't hear from him for 5 months, but he was always on my mind. When it contacted me, it was odd because the thoughts were very intense that day - felt it was just meant to be to talk.

Well, since I had been having a long distance relationship by this point, with new guy, I was having ambivalent feelings about him - even before my ex-bf contacted me. And then of course after ex-bf contacted me, the ambivilent feelings were amplified and I told new guy I need to be single for now to get my thoughts in order. I need to be on my own - not committed to anyone.

Ex-boyfriend says he's all confused about the girl he had been seeing (whom I did know and had a feeling about her way before we broke up). I had a feeling that something was going on with them or was going to.

Anyway, I know this is VERY LONG WINDED and if you got this far reading, thank you.

I have not heard from ex-bf since I saw him last weekend and I don't know if I will. I left a message for him today wishing him a happy birthday.

I do not want to contact him because I don't want to be hurt all over again. I cannot deal with the rejection and don't want to hear about him being confused over his girlfriend (can I kick her ass please?). So, I am telling myself that if he wants to see me, he will contact me, if he doesn't, then he won't.

As for new guy, I am still talking online or over phone everyday, but he's hoping for more in the future and I don't know if I feel like that. That will have to be another thread to discuss.

Just call me LOVE LIFE DRAMA QUEEN.:eek:
Actually I was single for two years after ex husband left before I began dating again. Didn't get serious with anyone for a while till I met ex-boyfriend whom I've been talking about. Those are my most two serious relationships. I'm not one to have many boyfriends, but do agree I may have jumped into this next new one quickly becuase it felt good to be recognized again. I thought I had finally found someone who I could relate to. But even if that may be, in a nutshell I am not over ex-boyfriend and the new guy lives far and we don't have much of an opportunity to really develop a relationship.

And yeah, you are right red flags all the way around. Love stinks. *sigh*
Hi Everyone,

On my first post here, I posted about my feelings for ex-boyfriend and mentioned a little about the guy I met after ex-boyfriend broke things off with me - but wanted to elaborate a little more. He and I connected right away online and began talking and texting every day. He lives a bit away from me. We planned to meet up after a month of talking at my insistence and then we met up a few more times since. We connected because we are both single parents of two boys and have both been hurt a lot by previous relationships in the past. His boys have some special needs issues, but they got in my heart pretty quick. My boys, however do not like to interact with them all that much when we have got together. They feel his boys are too "immature" for them. But that's really a small issue and not even part of the reason for this post.

He just moved back in with his controlling dad and sister because he literally had no where to go. So, he is trying to get back on his feet by working a job he hates and has to work weekends, which means when we did see each other I had to drive up to him and watch his kids while he worked and then we all spent time together afterward.

So, after he was actually able to come see me last month, I suddenly felt as if things weren't "right". I wasn't sure if it was because I just had surgery or just feeling like he is not the one for me. Then at that same time my ex-boyfriend contacted me out of the blue and that confused my feelings even more.

But to leave the feelings for my ex-boyfriend out of the equation, I have been trying to think of how I really feel about this guy and I'm coming to the conclusion that I may just want to be friends. He's not on his own, his family dictates everything he does, they don't like me and never met me, and I just don't see an equal reltionship in the future. And then there is the romance aspect of it. The cuddling and the hugging he gives is great, but the sex does not satisfy me. And that is really hard to tell based in seeing him a total of maybe 5 or 6 times.

So, he says he's waiting for me to decide what I want as I told him I need to be single right now, but I am wondering if I better tell him I think we'd be better off as friends. I really like the fact that we talk every day and never hd that with a guy. And I know once I tell him lets just be friends that may all end and I'm probably being selfish.

The mother of his kids is not involved in their lives whatsoever and so I know he's hoping for all us to be a family someday and his kids can have a mom.

So, I'm confused on his intentions, my intentions and just what the hell to do.

Give it to me straight - bad, good or in between.

Thanks if you got this far....





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