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Relationship Health Message Board


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[QUOTE=Misssy2;4622104]I would assume...that it will take a long time of a trusting, loving relationship regarding sex..and much counseling before you learn how to "love" again. I was damaged sexually in a different way...In my past relationship..of 22 years...i was madly in love with the guy in the begining...he cheated on me many times...and then when he was fooling around with me...I was always ok...until he cheated on me with my sister. I felt the ultimate betrayal..and I could not get my sexual appetite back. I tried for 9 years...and during that 9 years..I said NO to him many times about having sex...and he would get violent and it would cause drama in the house for the kids...so I gave in....so I felt raped in that sense for a VERY long time. Your situation is different...in a sense...but, I was absolutely raped continuiously for a very long time. When I met my new boyfirend...I told him "i don't know if I can ever like sex again". Which to me meant, I may never had been able to have a meaningful relationshp again. But, as I got to know my boyfriend and he was very patient and kind....I started to "heal" in that way...I started to "crave" sex again. Then something came up with him...and he doesn't have the desire (and told me he didn't have it before he met me.) So, my sex life stopped. But, because of the situation...since your boyfriend is being patient and kind...I'm thinking if he continues to stay patient...and you develop a LONG TERM loving relationship with him and get some regular counseling you may be able to overcome these dreadful feelings. Because my current sex life did not continue I really still feel weird alot when i have sex...sometimes I like it and sometimes I have all those feelings you described....guilt, fear, anxiety...I really think you need to have constant reassurance and counseling. And I hope that you get it...because I know what you mean about being fed up. And I was definetly ANGRY that someone (my X) stole my soul from me.[/QUOTE]

thank you for your reply sweetheart. i am so sorry you had to go through that aswell it is disgusting :-( makes me so mad how men don't respect women the bad ones anyway obviously there is kind ones too. i just want the appointment soon as possible to see the therapist so i can recover fully and get on with my life. did you go see a counsellor aswell? do you get the same feeling as me in a way that you feel a failure as a woman and don't feel human sometimes ? i do. sick of feeling this way and gets me annoyed as well that that evil ex of mine took apart of my life away. just glad my current boyfriends so loving. when we talk about it he just holds me in his arms and reassures me over and over again. how did you cope if you don't mind me asking ? before or after. and when you got out of that awful relationship





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