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Relationship Health Message Board


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What do i do?
Dec 1, 2010
hi guys, i'm just new here, really need some advice. i'll try keep i as short as possible but there's a lot to explain.

i've been with my boyfriend for 2years, at first everything was great, i've never met anyone like him. he was really really close to his gran, who he lived with, she was like a mum to him. sadly she had pancreatic cancer and passed away when we'd been together 6months. he's never dealt with this, he just ignores it, like it never happened. he won't talk about her and ever since he's been angry at everyone and everything.

we moved in together at the start of the year and it's got steadily worse from then on in. he wouldn't help out around the house, take the dog out and when he got drunk we'd have blazing rows and he'd become a totally different person. the morning after he'd be upset and say he was sorry and he hated himself for what he'd done.

it all came to a point a few weeks ago when he'd been acting totally out of character; avoiding me, staying out at clubs all night then staying in bed all day. i finally got him to sit down and talk to me, and at first he was really cold, said he didn't want to be with me, didn't love me. then he totally opened up and said it was our situation he couldn't handle and he felt nothing was worth doing, he feels worthless and useless within himself, he wants to just lie in bed all day, he won't go out, walk the dog...nothing.

so we agreed we would both move back with our parents and take us back to basics. i also said that he had to speak to someone about how he was feeling. so we went along to the doctors and he got leaflets and was told to come back on the 1st dec(today) we've been better since, seeing each other a few nights a week, going out for dinner etc. then last thursday and saturday he stayed out all night again and when i txt him he was really abrupt with me. i asked if i had done something and he said no, he just felt run down and grumpy and wasnt looking forward to the doctors.

this was monday night and i hadn't heard from him since. he wouldn't answer my calls or messages. so i txt him today saying i love him and if he wanted me to go to the doctors with him tonight i would, im there for him anytime.
he replied after a while saying he had been put on anti depressants and he was sorry but he can't deal with us anymore, he needs time on his own and maybe in a few weeks his feelings will change, he still loves me but just wants to be alone right now and he hopes when he feels better things will be different.

i just don't know what to do :( i know he desperately needs time and this is a huge thing for him, but i feel like he doesn't want me. i hate knowing he's feeling like this and there's nothing i can do to help him. can anyone give me some help or advice please? im going out my mind worrying
thanks for reading xx





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