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Relationship Health Message Board

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as you recently know i have walked away from my family (still talking to dad though) but not everyone else so obviously i am not at family partys today. also my boyfriend has told me he likes christmas day to be by himself he said he has liked that for years which i understand if thats his preferances but even at home i feel pushed out i stayed in bed longer today as i didnt want to face today woke up at 4pm and i came in the living room and my boyfriend didnt even say ''hi'' and didnt even look at me. so i sat down and thought i'd go on the internet and i turned to him and said ''hows your day been'' and he said ''same as always'' in a really moody tone of voice and when i was telling him about me speaking to my dad on phone earlier he wouldnt look at me wouldnt talk back to me so i said ''how come your not talking to me'' he said ''not in mood'' i said ''why'' he said ''just not''....the thing i am upset about is that its my 1st christmas away from my family and he knows i have been depressed about it, you would think a supportive boyfriend would try and make it special for us two or at LEAST talk to me or just to make me feel welcomed rather than ''oh wish you werent here'' sort of attitude, he also said last night ''prefer it if you wasnt here'' but then said to his friends ''i'll be doing nothing tomorrow so if you guys get bored after family christmas partys you can all come here if you want''. hes got a right grumpy look on his face and i feel like no one wants me around my family dont care even though they started the world war 3 in our family which resulted in me so hurt i had to walk away. i was so hurt i didnt even want to be on this planet anymore but i have slighly got my mind off thinking that way as i am trying to be strong for me.

update from what i wrote last (above)...i went to hug my boyfriend and i said ''i understand that todays abit crap because you wanted to be alone on christmas day but you know i wouldnt of been here if my family hadnt of upset me lately'' his response ''just because your christmas is ruined does not mean mine has to be'' ...i dont really understand the need for him to say that as i have just been telling him i understand he said it so cruelly aswell. i understand today might be crap for him but its not no walk in the park for me either and i do not deserve him to be rude and ignorant to me all day. i have spent the last few days in tears , barely eating, barely sleeping as i have been hurt how my family have treat me and brings up memorys in my mind about all the past hurt they have caused me aswell so a loving boyfriend would be nice to me at least.

this is starting to question my relationship now. i am not sure if i want it anymore now. and by the way its not only just been christmas time that hes been off with me , hes been very different with me for ages claiming he is fine and reasurring me that he still loves me and wants me but treats me like i dont even exist or like he doesnt want me around. been giving him space as much as i can but its hard when friends dont live near, nor does family not that i'd want to see them anyway but it all costs money to go see them, and they won't travel because they have no money with having to do christmas shopping etc...feel trapped and feel like moving on. my boyfriend spends his whole life on his games console aswell its getting boring. maybe i should just go. i'm considering it.

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