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I am very worried for my mom. She has an undiagnosed mental illness. I have been trying to help her for years with this, but she is on a downward spiral. My mom is in denial and does not believe there is anything wrong. As a child I always knew my mom was sad and unhappy. She would be emotionally hurtful to me. She married my dad, because she was pregnant with me (he was the father). She loved him the best way she could. She had been raped before she met him in college and she had a rough childhood. She was shy and felt ridiculed by all her peers. She had no friends. In college she met some great friends and my dad, this was the only happy time I can recall that she talks about. Except for the rape. Then she had been thrown off a horse and it fell on her. This is when my Grandma noticed the difference in her (early twenties). As far as I know there was no abuse growing up although she has a very unhappy opinion about her childhood.
As a child mom always told me she wanted me to be perfect and when I wasn't she said some very mean things. When I got my first boyfriend she became worse about this. She would physically hurt me when she became angry. She thought I was hurting her by being with him. This somehow got resolved. Mainly because I moved out and let things go. Then a couple years later my dad was diagnosed with cancer. He was terminal. Mom then focased her enery on saying hurtful things to him. I know of two times she was extremely physical. One time she was so mad that I asked her for money she pushed my dad on the floor after he had surgery. Money was a huge deal at that time for all of us. Another time my mom refused to take my dad to the hospital and hit him and told him if he didn't get up and do something he was going to die. Well my dad died after two years of suffering. My mom has been depressed more since.
She has been without him for 6 years now. She started working last year for the first time in twenty some years. Mainly because she needed the money. She was ok for a short period of time, but she became even more dependant on my brother. She was the same way with dad. Very dependant. She has always thought of herself as a burden, ugly, worthless, and the list goes on. For as long as I can remember she has threatened injuring herself.
Also she had this thing against my dads family. She thought they hated her and never excepted her. To aviod fights dad pretty much stopped seeing his family. She disliked his mom more than anyone. Very jealous of his sister (dad and her were close growing up). So I never formed relationships with them.
Now she hates her job and thinks someone is out to get her. Over the summer my brother and his girlfriend stayed with her. My mom became so jealous of the girlfriend that she made up lies about her. Said she made her stay in her room and not eat dinner with them or watch tv. She called everyone she knew and it made things ten times worse. this sent them all over the edge. My brother and her girlfriend moved out. She almost lost a relationship with him. Now she is trying to get stuff started again. She even told me more lies about stuff that the girlfriend is doing. She also has been starting lies about my aunt to hurt me. Saying that my aunt is made at me and wrote me out of her will. I don't undersatnd how she got so confused on this. It seems like she believes her lies to the fullest.
I have been talking to her throught the years and she refuses to get help. She denies being depressed, denies lying, and she has made herself be almost completely secluded from the world. Oh and another huge problem is she used to have 16 cats upstairs in her house. They have ruined many things. Now they are in the basement. The whole place stinks. I can't take my kids there. At the moment I have her visit at my house. But she is burning a lot of bridges. How do I get her help? Any ideas on what type of illness this is? It might be a combo. There has been so much going on. Of course I have had to seek out help for myself, because of the mind games she has played and for the depression of losing my dad my only security as a child. Any ideas will help!!!!

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