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Relationship Health Message Board

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Re: Unresolvable
Jan 12, 2011
Oh, That changes everything! If this young man is fathering children, that is a whole different animal.

That is very irresponsible and unfortunate for the children's sake. However, I think this is more of an education issue in my eyes.

If my sons were out there fathering children, I would want a relationship with the girlfriends, in order to assure proper birth control was being used, be it in my house or where ever they mate.

I would want the closest relationship I could have with my son, which would include spending quality time together as often as possible, with and without the girlfriend. If your boyfriend is simply letting the kids shack up over at his house, I would also be upset. Without knowing your boyfriend, it is hard to know where his interests lie.

Is he a strong father? Is he dedicated to his son? Doing the very best he can
Is he passing the buck to the mother, and trying to be the fun dad, with no rules?

That would make all the difference to me in making a decision.

If he is the first one, I would say he is worth the compromise, if he is the second one, I would hesitate to commit to that.

Do you want to tie yourself onto a man who has such baggage?

I am sorry for your dilemma, it must be heartbreaking to watch and I can understand your concerns. Be strong.

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