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Relationship Health Message Board


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These 2 things have really made me depressed my whole life. It really is the only area of my life I am haveing problems with. I am doing great at work and have a great career ahead of me. Fact is now I am 28 yrs old and still havnt grown up past that party stage. I think the main problem is I have not had a steady girlfriend and I really desire too. The main reason I go out and party/clubs is to meet girls. I know it is not the best way too but I really do not know any other way. I am certaintly getting tired of it. I really do not know how to meet girls. I undersand what they want and look for and I am starting to wonder if I am really just not that desirable to women. I am short 5'7'' and my hairline is starting to recede. Outside of that I am deceant looking and am built well...exercise a lot. I feel that I have a good personality aside from being a little shy when first meeting people. I know looks are not everything...but as a man the height thing seems to be quite a big deal. I have had girlfriends in the past and several while I have been here...but they all have been very short lived and not with the girls I truely want to be with. Most of my realtionships have been formed between a mixture of alcohol and luck. It was much easier for me in college because I had a lot of friends and 'social proof' to say...a lot of ppl said good things about me etc..But being in a place where no one really knows me it is hard to show people who I am.

I feel like I am pretty confident person, but I am not so social. I know that is a problem for me too. In college I had a lot of freinds but it was mainly because I knew a couple of ppl who knew a lot of other people...I never made any real effort to socialize or meet new people. I dont think many women like to meet a guy who doesnt seem to have many friends. So I get depressed about this and drink and go to bars/clubs and try to meet women. While I have gotten some numbers I have not been able to attract a girl that I would like to be with. It is depressing and makes it hard to be motivated at other things in life. Oh and here is a list of what I believe women look for in men.

Physically--
Tall--would prefer handsome and muscular but I think it is height that is more of the important things because it displays dominance and mascualinity. It brings the apporiate dynamic to the male-female polarity. Now I know this can be overcome with a good amount of confidence and haveing a fit/ strong frame helps a lot.

Personality-- I know this is huge. I understand that what repeals women faster than anything is needyness/desperation/shyness etc. Haveing a good sense of humor/ being witty/ and haveing a fun side to you. Being a good and careing person of course are good parts of a personality as long as it doesnt go to far to be smoothering or supplicating..where you lose that masculine edge.

Outside of this I think other things women look for is
-How other people respond to you , esp other women.
-How far up you are on the social ladder, how socially normal you are
-How much things you have going in your life..career, future. etc.

I could write a lot more about this because I think about it a lot as I am trying to make myself more attractive to women. Well this is a more or a rant than anything else. I suppose if anyone had tips for me that would be great.





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