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Relationship Health Message Board

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Unfortunately, since she was honest and told you she was going to date other people there's not much you can do. Except to stop making yourself available to her if you can't stand the thought of her dating other guys. You really have no right to go through her phone if you two are no longer a couple. Even though in your mind you still are, in her mind you are not.

It's sad and it hurts, but you can't make her stop seeing other guys if she wants to and if she told you she was. You can wait around for her (not recommended) or you can accept it and in time you can think about dating someone else. And if it hurts too much to see evidence she is dating other guys you might have to stop hanging out with her.
I think you should cut her loose. It's clear she doesn't just want to "see other people," she wants to date this other guy. It's ridiculous for her to expect you to wait around for her to come back to you while she does her thing with this guy, though. I don't think that's really fair of her to expect you to do that. If going with him is what she has to do now, then losing you is just a risk she's going to have to take. Three years is a long time for her to decide she wants to see what else is out there but still hang onto you. I think you need to start wrapping your mind around the fact that she's emotionally left the relationship and you need to let her go, mourn the relationship, let it go and move past it and get on with your life. I think you'll only be hurting yourself more if you let her play you, back and forth, you and him, you and him. You know she's lied to you about seeing this guy, and you don't want to share her. It would hurt too much to share her. For your own sanity, it would be wise to let her go with dignity, good grace, and wishing her well as she gets on with her life and you get on with yours.
if she wants to date other people, she's not your girlfriend anymore.....

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