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Relationship Health Message Board


Relationship Health Board Index


hi the second mom, I admire you for your willingness and heart to forgive your husband for the most devastating actions he could do to your marriage. and I applaud you in your effort to forgive. however, having been in your shoes myself, (my first wife cheated on me way back in 1975.) you do not ever forget! in fact she married the guy she cheated with. she has been married now 5 times her most recent husband passed away from cancer. she had cheated on every single husband she's had, and boyfriends since the last one passed. I hold no animosity toward my ex wife, other than the relationships she has with our daughter and our two grandsons we have in common, one is 13 years old, I believe she's seen him maybe 10 times? the other is only 13 months old she's seen him twice he is so sweet he'd make a spoonful of salt taste like sugar, if you're around him for one week you'll begin to feel cavities forming in your teeth!

you are angry and you deserve to be, you need some outlet to release the aggression you feel? maye join a gym and take it out on the weights or machines? but you need to get it out it will eat you up:mad: for me back then I'd studied karate since I was 7 hears old, I keep a skid of 6 inch cinder blocks, a skid od building bricks, and a couple hundred 1 foot 2x12' boards on hand o take my aggression out whenever anger builds in me. break a few and I'm fine, when my current wife of 30+ years first saw my skids she asked what they're for? I explained it to her and demonstrated it, she has never once angered me to that point.

you can go to marriage counseling and therapists to talk and listen till your tongue and ears fall off, YOU WILL NOT FORGET! you can forgive and I wish you luck saving your marriage. but, talking to marriage councilors and therapists thinking they'll make you forget his indiscretions is like thinking they can make you forget the birth of your first child, IT AIN'T GOING TO HAPPEN! though you can go on to live a happy fulfilling life

what you must do is release aggression and forbid he ever mention her name in your presence again. I doubt you can even forgive if reminded by her name constantly my first teachings in karate was inner peace body/mind/and spirit. find happiness within yourself and the rest will come don't let the anger and other emotions block your happiness;)

my signature says "happiness is a way of life bot a goal in life" what that means is just over 18 years ago I suffered a massive stroke paralyzing my entire left side, I have a constant burning feeling from the top of my left ear all way down to my big toe on my left foot, still I make it through each day and tomorrow is the best day of my life

I hope this helps you just a bit? I'll keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers

good luck and god bless:angel:

Larry/coupe





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