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Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

I think your inability to give voice to your real feelings, and taking your anger and resentment and bottling it up inside is exactly what's causing your depression. I think you might want to talk to a therapist or counselor about how you can learn to stand up for yourself and be your own champion and learn how to tell people how you feel in an assertive, non-confrontational, non-accusing way. I would not suggest taking drugs for your depression until you learn how to better deal with this problem I think if you dealt with this problem, the depression would go away.

I don't blame you one bit for feeling cheated out of a wedding day, especially when his first wife got a big, lovely wedding. I imagine it makes you feel like he doesn't consider you worthy of a nice wedding day, a happy celebration. But if it means that much to you, you have to tell him. He can't read your mind, and it seems to be something you not only really want, but need in order to feel valued and respected in this relationship. he won't know that unless and until you tell him. Perhaps you're afraid of what he will do after you tell him. Not only think you're "another crazy," but that he will say "yeah, you're right, you're not worth a big fancy wedding." but you can't keep things inside because you're afraid of how someone will react. Especially if it means this much to you. His pride over not being able to get you a big fancy ring, that's selfish of him. He should be able to put you above his own pride. It might also be a Taming Of The Shrew thing. As long as he claims no ring he could possibly afford is good enough for you, then he never has to commit to getting you a ring at all. What the heck, you might even want to consider getting your own ring, just a simple, inexpensive gold band to let the world know you're a married woman. You are a married woman, so I don't see any reason why you have to wait for him to get off his duff and get you a ring. Get your own until he's ready to replace it. If he really loves you, he'll see how important having a ring is to you and he'll step up and replace it soon

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