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my newest boyfriend (which i've known for years) is the most sweetest guy i've ever dated in my life. i'm used to being treated like crap, but he goes out of his way to make me happy, he always puts me first(hard to find) i don't like always having it my way, it kind of drives me nuts! he never speaks up to tell me what HE wants to do, or ever talks about anything he enjoys doing etc.

He just won't open up, if i ask him if he wants to go somewhere etc he always says I don't care. He always says i don't care to anything, i tried asking him what would YOU like to do, and he always says the same answer I don't know i don't have anything i could think of to do i don't want to bore you etc.


I take him around my friends, and all he does is sit there, never talks doesn't initate conversation with any of them they've begun to become a little irritated with him thinking he is being rude (which he is not) because if they try to talk to him all he says is one worded answers.


I talk to his friends constantly, he'll never talk to mine. He's just really akward.

When he is around his friends he talks constantly and constantly...even more than he talks to me!!!

If i ever have a problem he never talks to me about it just sits there...like i'm talking to a wall, he never tells me whats on his mind or what is bothering him he doesn't tell me anything that happens in his life, it took him forever to tell me something his brother did to him that was horrible that happened while we were together, he just never mentioned it. it's like he's emotionless, theres nothing there, i don't know what to do with him. He is so sweet though always tells me im beautiful and always goes out of his way for me. He won't talk on the phone, only text, his mom told me he's had this problem forever he won't even talk to her only through text messages, she was crying when she told me this it must be very upsetting for her to deal with... i don't know what is wrong with him... i don't want to leave him but all my friends do is complain and say i have a huge personality and he has NONE at all... i shouldn't care what other people think but thats just an issue i have it makes me second guess things. It makes me worry, i don't want to be with someone forever when this is how he is, like its depressing me because i have no one to really talk to about stuff, and i would look to him, but he never makes me feel better! i always ask him how his day was or whats bothering him and well i get one worded answers usually i don't know what to do. please help.
[QUOTE=jennysixteen;4682789] He is so sweet though always tells me im beautiful and always goes out of his way for me. He won't talk on the phone, only text, his mom told me he's had this problem forever he won't even talk to her only through text messages, she was crying when she told me this it must be very upsetting for her to deal with... i don't know what is wrong with him... i don't want to leave him but all my friends do is complain and say i have a huge personality and he has NONE at all... i shouldn't care what other people think but thats just an issue i have it makes me second guess things. It makes me worry, i don't want to be with someone forever when this is how he is, like its depressing me because i have no one to really talk to about stuff, and i would look to him, but he never makes me feel better! i always ask him how his day was or whats bothering him and well i get one worded answers usually i don't know what to do. please help.[/QUOTE]


I want you to re-read this passage from your post again, and again, very carefully, and then think long and hard, "Ok, WHY don't I want to leave him?" You should never, EVER stay with someone out of guilt or because you're scared of looking like the bad guy if you leave. And to be honest, this guy doesn't sound like a "nice guy." He sounds like a neurotic, self-absorbed mess. There's a difference between a nice guy and an obsequious sycophant. Your guy is the second one. A nice guy would be your equal, not lay down on the the ground and gladly be your doormat, always letting you, or even MAKING you, make all the decisions, a nice guy would talk to your friends, a nice guy would have his own plans, ideas, and life he wanted to share with you, not make you responsible for his happiness and wholeness.

If you don't want to live like this, you only have one choice - don't live like this. Only you know what will make you happy, and only you will be unhappy if you don't get it. You can either make him a little unhappy for a while, but maybe force him to face his demons and fix whatever mental problems that are keeping him from being a functional, normal, socially adept person, or you can stay with him and make yourself unhappy. It's your choice. But make no mistakes. You cannot change him, you can't save him, you can't fix him, and you can't love him into loving you the way you want him to. You don't have that kind of control over his emotions and personality.





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