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Relationship Health Message Board


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I've been with my boyfriend for 6 months and so far, we've spent practically every night together. We only live 5 minutes away from each other and attend the same university. At first, everything seemed to be great, and we were madly in love with each other. He was one of the nicest guys I'd ever met and would always go out of his way to do things for me and would be there for me no matter what. Anyway, it started to change when I went on the pill, which affected me very badly emotionally. I'd been on it once before (a few years ago) and it had the same effect then and pretty much destroyed my previous relationship. It just made me very emotional and depressed and I would get offended by everything and frequently burst into tears...which would go on for hours. He would spend hours and hours comforting me, and then things would be ok once the 'pillyness' went away. I must mention that I went on the pill very early on in our relationship (after a couple of weeks), so I dont feel that he really got to know the 'real' me before experiencing the effects of the pill. He knows quite a lot about hormonal medication and how it can alter mood and behaviour, so he was very understanding about it. It didnt make him resent me, but I think that after 4-5 months of constant reassuring, he was emotionally drained and exhausted from it all, and I decided to switch to a different pill. This was a mistake, and I should've just quit altogether. The new one made me very angry, aggressive and paranoid. I was no longer depressed, but everything annoyed and angered me and it took a lot for me to be able to control it. I lost my temper quite badly on a couple of occassions, and I decided to stop taking it after a couple of weeks, without even finishing the packet. My moods and behaviour have significantly improved since then, and I am finally starting to feel more or less normal now. I do not plan to go back on any pill anytime soon! They simply do not agree with me.
Anyway...he asked for some space last week, and we spent the night apart, but met up the following day. It was quite nice, and we were able to have a good time together, but we went our separate ways that night. However, we met up again yesterday and for some reason, it was impossible to get along. I no longer feel that he has any desire to see me and I think that it's mostly due to the 6 months of having to deal with my up and down emotions. He keeps saying that he's not going to give up on me and that he still loves me and thinks it will get better, but he's just emotionally drained from everything that has happened recently. He mentioned counselling a week ago, but since then has said that he's not sure if it's necessary. I just don't know how to improve this situation or what to do. I dont know if we just need some more space (eg. I'm not seeing him today) in order for us to miss each other, or whether it's too late...
I feel very grateful that he was there for me all of the times that I was annoyed, offended or angry at him for no reason. I'm glad that he understands that it's the pill that was affecting me, and I'm relived that since going off the pill, I've started to feel better and feel more in control of myself and my emotions. However, I just dont know how to proceed now. It feels like he's constantly fed up with me now and doesnt have any real desire to see me. Even if he does, he seems to be incredibly cautious...eg. we no longer meet up at my house.
I just want us to be able to enjoy each other's company again. Is space the solution? Even when he suggests some space or spending the night apart, he still continues to message me online or text me...and I tend to find this a bit frustrating, for some reason. He keeps saying that we should stay in touch through other means, and that if it seems like we can get along, we should meet up and take it from there.
What do you guys think??





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