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Relationship Health Message Board

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Not an easy one...

Is there a considerable age gap between you guys? I mean, is he much older than you?

I feel like you are putting him too high on a pedestal. But I am also wondering if he somehow makes you do so, by having and displaying a bloated ego.

Think in these terms: you have started learning music much later than him. You can't by any measure be on the same level as him. Unless you were an inborn music genius, which I don't think you are.

Give yourself plenty of time. Be generous with yourself. Don't compare your achievements with his, but only with your previous ones.

Any relationship that dwells on permanent comparisons or subtle competition can't go very far. You know that, don't you? Do you want to be loved for who and what you are, or do you want to be someone who will meet his high criteria?

It's good that you both share a deep interest for music but also that you play different instruments.

Even if you played the same thing, you'd in time find that each of you does better in some particular field.

I am wondering why he never asked you to play for him. Or did he ask you to do it and you refused to? If so, there is lack of intimacy and trust between you guys. Or is he somehow ignoring you? I am confused here.

My suggestion is that you try to join your talents and efforts in the future and create a band with others, besides pursuing a career as solists on the side. It is much healthier to complement each other than keeping comparing.

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