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Confused
Feb 24, 2011
its been a while since i made a thread but i needed to share my confusion. ok so i am insecure, have severe trust issues, traumatised by many horrible things from my past, got bad depression to this day and i am now in therapy to help sort it. what i am confused about is...i WANT to pour my heart out to my therapist about all my past but she wont let me :-( she wont even discuss my biggest problem which is trust issues which is driving my boyfriend crazy although i am improving. i want to solve my biggest problem which is trust issues but all shes interested in solving is my anxiety and thats not even as bad as my trust issues. i just think shes making this more about what she wants todo than me. i suggested i have therapy and counselling at same time but she says no its a bad idea as shes trying to help my bad thinking patterns, my thoughts, behaviour , anxiety, depression etc ...she said it will be too much and it will be up and down emotions. i kind of get that but how am i supposed to get better if i can't open up about whats bothering me and why its bothering me. she ask some very hard questions and the only way i can answer it is to talk about a certain time in the past which has made me think or feel this certain way...she wont let me even use it as an example. she is helping a little as my thinking patterns are slowly changing but there is so much inside that i need to reveal. all this is affecting me everyday.

heres an example she said ''why are you anxious about getting on public transport''....i said ''dont trust people near me''....she said ''why is that? '' ....at this point i was trying to explain in detail why i dont trust people at all. but of course soon as i started trying to use a certain bad event in my past she cut me off. grrrrr its so frustrating.

my boyfriends worried that i won't get better if i can't talk about my pain from the past. i know people say past is past but PAST is what makes us who we are today and can be so traumatic its not easy to get over. i have reassured my boyfriend i will do everything in my power to sort my issues out but hes still worried.

really fed up. sorry needed to vent :-(





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