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Relationship Health Message Board

Relationship Health Board Index

Well, it seems pretty clear to me you're not really in love with Keith. You may love him for all he gives you and how devoted he is to you, but you're not in love with him. It could be neither of these guys is the man you should spend the rest of your life, hard to tell with just the information you've given us.

when you decided you didn't want a long distance relationship with Peter, did you give him the chance to see if he wanted to move closer to you, get a job closer to you, or maybe you get a job closer to him, or did you just break it off?

It kind of sounds to me you're a little unclear as to what you really want in a life partner. Rarely do we get the whole package - a man who stimulates our brain, eases our mind, warms our heart AND curls our toes. We have to pick and choose the guy who has the MOST VALUABLE of those qualities, becuase we almost never find a man who has them all. You had great sex and compatibility and fun with Peter, but you have security and stability with Keith. You have to decide which is more important to you and then pick a lane. And if you pick Keith, I think it would be wise to break off all contact with Peter. You can't fall out of love with someone while keeping contact with them. You need time away from him to get him out of your system. If you decide to stay with Keith, [B]and that's NOT necessarily what I'm telling you to do,[/B] but if you do, then you must get Peter totally and completely out of your life. Keith deserves a woman who isn't always fantasizing about sleeping with another man, whose heart is his, doesn't he? You have to decide if you can be, or even want to be, that woman. Or you could roll the dice, go with your heart and go with Peter, IF he even wants to be in a real, close-distance relationship with you, and as far as I can see, "I love you (so long as you're a safe distance away and involved with someone else so I don't have to have the responsibility of being emotionally available to you)" doesn't mean that's what he wants, and you haven't said anything to indicate that's what he wants. I mean, have you asked him point-blank, "if I left Keith for you, would you want to be with me, move closer to me or have me and my kid move in with you and be together in a real relationship?" And again, it could be neither of these guys is what you want or need, and you may need to think about freeing yourself up completely to find a man who is closer to ALL the things you want in a life partner. You've got some serious soul searching to do.
sorry to be abit harsh but your not respecting keith at all and i think you should leave him so he can find a faithful woman who loves only him. how would you like it if keith or someone you really loved had cheated ? if keith found out i am sure he would be heartbroken. sorry i find you quite selfish. i think you are trying to have best of both worlds thats my opinion.

ok , so my advice is , be with neither of them until you make up your mind what it is in life that you TRULY want.

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