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Relationship Health Message Board


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Your boyfriend knows his mother..give up totally on hoping for some sort of apology, you will never get it. I know it is hard, but you must remember that everything that comes out of her mouth is all about her. She is full of rage and poison and it just sprays around on anything in the vicinity. It sounds like her daughter is a willing pupil and is becoming like her. She does not know and cares less that she is treading on your feelings. By all means keep away from her, but asking your BF to choose is a very dangerous step, both in the short- and long-term. Let him stay in contact with her, it doesn't have to be the both of you. Having said that, you will need clear evidence that he can distance himself in a healthy way, eg moving in with you and limiting his mother's visits to "invitation only" or "hell freezing over" LOL. Keep yourself from getting tangled up in her stuff, it has nothing to do with you, just maintain a dignified silence. If she realises that you are the same no matter what she says or does, it will annoy her big time (always a bonus). Hang in there, these people are pains, but they are everywhere. Cheers, Sera.
In 10 years he hasn't managed to move out, get married, and cut this crazy mom out of his life? This problem could have been dealt with years ago by him taking a stand, getting married and moving far away from those people. But he chooses to not only stay there and live with his crazy family but he has also not made any moves toward becoming a proper husband for you - in 10 years!! He clearly has no ambition, no self-determination, and no desire to move forward in his life. You did the right thing to give him an ultimatum finally, but I would have only given him a month! He has had 10 years of your life, which you will never get back, and wasted them with this constant daily stress and drama which all could have been avoided if he would have grown a spine and stood up for himself and for his relationship with you. But he's not going to because he is a coward and has no goals in life to get away to have a better life. You are better off without a dead weight like him!
[QUOTE=Kszan;4718072]In 10 years he hasn't managed to move out, get married, and cut this crazy mom out of his life? This problem could have been dealt with years ago by him taking a stand, getting married and moving far away from those people. But he chooses to not only stay there and live with his crazy family but he has also not made any moves toward becoming a proper husband for you - in 10 years!! He clearly has no ambition, no self-determination, and no desire to move forward in his life. You did the right thing to give him an ultimatum finally, but I would have only given him a month! He has had 10 years of your life, which you will never get back, and wasted them with this constant daily stress and drama which all could have been avoided if he would have grown a spine and stood up for himself and for his relationship with you. But he's not going to because he is a coward and has no goals in life to get away to have a better life. You are better off without a dead weight like him![/QUOTE]


I completely agree, you have been with this guy for 10.5 years and he's just your boyfriend? And he still lives at home at 28 years old? I'm not sure it's the mother that has all the problems that you should be concerned about because to me, your boyfriend clearly has commitment issues that you are have been overlooking.
If my mother treated my girl like that when we were together my mother would have known that I didn't appreciate it and the fact that it's putting strain on my relationship.





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