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Relationship Health Message Board

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This helped me understand things a little more clearly.

I totally understand your anger about her going out after the accident, all happy with this guy, and then pulling the pity card and getting mad at you because you weren't there for her in her "time of need." How manipulative can someone be? The number one way to identify a sociopath is whether or not they are constantly pulling the victim card to get people to feel sorry for them, just sayin... (I'm not diagnosis-happy, I've just been reading this book about sociopaths.) She certainly doesn't appreciate the fact that you have a life at all.

She seems to place a lot of importance on birthdays, doesn't she? Getting mad at you for not sending her a birthday card is incredibly juvenile. I know I just said to focus on yourself and your patterns and not on her, but hell, I'm finding myself having to vent!

I think you have a good head on your shoulders and seem well capable of analyzing your own behaviors and motivations. How does this relationship correlate with others in your life? Do you have a history of letting people walk all over you, of staying in relationships long after they've gone bad? The way you described staying her friend cause you kept thinking it would go back to how it was in the beginning almost sounded like you were talking from the perspective of a battered wife.

I hope you can take this opportunity to evaluate how you relate with others so you can raise your self-esteem and self-respect. You deserve real friends who care about you and love you. I know how hard it is to walk away sometimes, despite what you know is right. No matter what someone does, if you spent days with them laughing and being happy, it's inevitably gonna hurt.

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